can’t stop won’t stop

this weekend is dedicated to the god of suckers and small things.

i was off to d.c. for another day trip, this time to organize with the hip-hop caucus as they gear up for 2006. in a room full of mostly college students, the gathering was a passing on of power and leadership from the eloquent reverend yeardwood to an earnest and energetic group of mostly d.c. and ny campus organizers.  i was reminded of my college organizing years, when i spoke of revolution as if it might erupt the next minute if we could convince enough people to dream it.  like all the work that’s happening right now, the success of the caucus rides on its ability to collaborate with others, which is a great place for us all to be.

meanwhile, on the other side of the world…remember a few posts back i wrote dreamily about watching a dude pull up in a car in the rain for his girl? and spoke of higher standards? so what do you do when an old flame is suddenly that dude, the sweetest gentleman ever, pulling some movie star game out of some hidden back pocket? i can only liken the experience to…the sun coming out after an apocalyptic explosion. i’m peeking through the boards nailed over my bunker’s door and i know that sun is too bright and hot for my tender heart, skin, whatever. it’s still so fucking gorgeous though – not the look of sun but that feeling, that closed eye feeling when the sun is all over you. i can only thank god for my stockpile of ice queen and current selection of sexy bunkmate options – i hope this makeshift shelter can hold up against the heat. i believe that’s the far end of that metaphor.

and now i’m in the presence of the most perfect 5 year old, mr jalen kai, who is dressed up in his halloween ninja costume and wants me to go sword fighting. i am holding up the whole day!

but i just had to note that some days, the idealistic and perhaps egotistical (anytime we think that something has to happen cause we’re alive to see it) and perservering faith of others – students, heartbreakers, gorgeous children – can make you believe anything is possibly, even love and revolution (those two shades of change).

can’t stop won’t stop

this weekend is dedicated to the god of suckers and small things.

i was off to d.c. for another day trip, this time to organize with the hip-hop caucus as they gear up for 2006. in a room full of mostly college students, the gathering was a passing on of power and leadership from the eloquent reverend yeardwood to an earnest and energetic group of mostly d.c. and ny campus organizers.  i was reminded of my college organizing years, when i spoke of revolution as if it might erupt the next minute if we could convince enough people to dream it.  like all the work that’s happening right now, the success of the caucus rides on its ability to collaborate with others, which is a great place for us all to be.

meanwhile, on the other side of the world…remember a few posts back i wrote dreamily about watching a dude pull up in a car in the rain for his girl? and spoke of higher standards? so what do you do when an old flame is suddenly that dude, the sweetest gentleman ever, pulling some movie star game out of some hidden back pocket? i can only liken the experience to…the sun coming out after an apocalyptic explosion. i’m peeking through the boards nailed over my bunker’s door and i know that sun is too bright and hot for my tender heart, skin, whatever. it’s still so fucking gorgeous though – not the look of sun but that feeling, that closed eye feeling when the sun is all over you. i can only thank god for my stockpile of ice queen and current selection of sexy bunkmate options – i hope this makeshift shelter can hold up against the heat. i believe that’s the far end of that metaphor.

and now i’m in the presence of the most perfect 5 year old, mr jalen kai, who is dressed up in his halloween ninja costume and wants me to go sword fighting. i am holding up the whole day!

but i just had to note that some days, the idealistic and perhaps egotistical (anytime we think that something has to happen cause we’re alive to see it) and perservering faith of others – students, heartbreakers, gorgeous children – can make you believe anything is possibly, even love and revolution (those two shades of change).

can’t stop won’t stop

this weekend is dedicated to the god of suckers and small things.

i was off to d.c. for another day trip, this time to organize with the hip-hop caucus as they gear up for 2006. in a room full of mostly college students, the gathering was a passing on of power and leadership from the eloquent reverend yeardwood to an earnest and energetic group of mostly d.c. and ny campus organizers.  i was reminded of my college organizing years, when i spoke of revolution as if it might erupt the next minute if we could convince enough people to dream it.  like all the work that’s happening right now, the success of the caucus rides on its ability to collaborate with others, which is a great place for us all to be.

meanwhile, on the other side of the world…remember a few posts back i wrote dreamily about watching a dude pull up in a car in the rain for his girl? and spoke of higher standards? so what do you do when an old flame is suddenly that dude, the sweetest gentleman ever, pulling some movie star game out of some hidden back pocket? i can only liken the experience to…the sun coming out after an apocalyptic explosion. i’m peeking through the boards nailed over my bunker’s door and i know that sun is too bright and hot for my tender heart, skin, whatever. it’s still so fucking gorgeous though – not the look of sun but that feeling, that closed eye feeling when the sun is all over you. i can only thank god for my stockpile of ice queen and current selection of sexy bunkmate options – i hope this makeshift shelter can hold up against the heat. i believe that’s the far end of that metaphor.

and now i’m in the presence of the most perfect 5 year old, mr jalen kai, who is dressed up in his halloween ninja costume and wants me to go sword fighting. i am holding up the whole day!

but i just had to note that some days, the idealistic and perhaps egotistical (anytime we think that something has to happen cause we’re alive to see it) and perservering faith of others – students, heartbreakers, gorgeous children – can make you believe anything is possibly, even love and revolution (those two shades of change).

wendy williams

i am listening to wendy williams (woh i LOVE) and knocking out mad work today!

i love new years, like when a year begins and everything can be totally new. i work best during the month of january…and i also love when people in your life who you have written off as heartbreakers try to make a comeback. and when you are sure they won’t succeed because you are sure you know the truth about them, and have your fingers in some other hot hot bowls, but its still great to watch.

tomorrow i will be in d.c. for the hip-hop caucus national student and youth meeting. it starts at 9 am, at University of the District of Columbia David A. Clarke School of Law (www.law.udc.edu) Building 39, 2nd Floor, Room 201 4200 Connecticut Ave., NW Washington, DC. Come thru if you can!

8 hrs on a plane makes amb insane

poor poor me.

i woke up at the crack of dawn this morning, just a leetle teeny beet
hungover thanks to a healthy mix of jen and jameson last night, and
cabbed over to la guardia to hop on a 6am flight to dc for the ‘stop
alito’ (dat bastard) press conference. we don’t need to discuss how i
was almost late turning my house upside down looking for my book of
sudoku puzzles. i found out on the plane that you can make your own
sudoku puzzles! so there…sudoku puzzle book maker..

i also napped on the plane and had my little speech all written out and
wouldn’t you know, we get over dulles and the fog is all over it and we
can’t land, so we end up flying to pittsburgh for fuel! now i love
pittsburgh, and for a second i thought i might get to check in with
khari, ruthesha, nish and tony, but they wouldn’t let us off the plane.
hours later, my early morning wisdom to not eat till i got to d.c. suddenly seemed
like mid-morning idiocy. at some point as i savored the mystery salted
‘snak’, the press conference happened with the statement i was able to
text the guy from the plane. so we finally flew to dulles and then i hopped on a plane back to ny.

and i have to be in dc again this weekend. sigh.

people are liking the sustainable activist piece up on wiretap! check it
at www.wiretapmag.org. speaking of sustainability, i had to tell the
aggressive caller today that he was scaring me and needed to stop
calling so much. he was like ok – when are your meetings? eek! and,
speaking of eek, did i mention a part of my ceiling fell in from the
dripping the other day? i woke up to see little white spots across the
floor, and following them i found a pile of plaster. see:

Ceiling

my landlady said its an easy fix. then she tried to take my closet door.
i’m going to start calling her ‘the creep’.

in other news, my feelings on a certain recent conversation with a
certain unnamed person can best be expressed by one of my favorite bob
dylan songs, transcribed here:

"i once held her

in my arms

she said she would always stay

but i was cruel

i treated her like a fool

i threw it all away

once i had mountains

in the palm of my hand

rivers that ran through every day

but i must have been mad

i never knew what i had

until i threw it all away

love is all there is

it makes the world go round

love and only love

it can’t be denied

no matter what you think about it

you just won’t be able to do without it

take a tip from one who’s tried

so if you find someone who

gives you all of her love

take it to your heart

don’t let it stray

one thing for certain you will surely be a-hurting

if you throw it all away"

and that’s all there is to say about that. moving right along…

some wonderful quotes for t-shirts from my friend who can only be called
d-willis:

– she’s just one of those people that needs to shut up

– sorry, i just don’t associate with ridiculous people when i don’t have
to. you know what i mean.

and one from a relative:

– my best friend is a pathological i don’t know what!

i am finally home with mary on and found my sudoku book and feeling better. day be gone!

another top 10

top 10 reasons not to give your cell out over the radio!

10. because apparently when people hear the combination of ‘pleasure activist’ and ‘call 917 — —- for more info’ their mind falls into a dirty little gutter of hope.

9. and then they call you from the public library. and they seem like normal nice folk who just haven’t done much organizing.

8. and then when you try to put them in touch with the local organizer, they ask if you are present at all the meetings. and they don’t ask any questions about the politics or content.

7. and then call again from their home to ask specifically about pleasure activism.

6. and then call again to tell you they are also into partying.

5. and then a couple more times with no message, but choosing the URGENT TEXT option that just says please call. even though at that this point you are no longer picking up the phone.

4. then call again to ask when is a good time to call?

3. and just when you are ready to leap off of the nice positive organizer boat and swim back to that shore called fear-of-strangerland, you hear that tone in their voice that just sounds like loneliness.

2. and then you try to be nice while indicating how busy you are because the sound of that specific kind of loneliness is scary.

1. and then they call again.

this is really becoming a problem…

i can’t focus on my new book of sudoku puzzles, or my manic start-of-the-year housecleaning and rearranging – i’ve unpacked the desk part of my armoire and am using it as a desk AND put a lamp in my closet to encourage matching!. i can’t get into the rhythm of the water dripping from my ceiling where my upstairs neighbors’ guest left the radiator on (and which my landlady feels is not crucial enough to deal with till tomorrow morning), or reflect on my current favorite solitary indulgence (key word: tantra: http://www.tantra.com/expand.html), or reflect dreamily on how much i admire bono, or reflect pensively on how i feel about bill clinton’s aggressive push for funding for africa’s hiv+ population. i can’t just drink mad water, or avoid eating bread, or celebrate jack abramoff’s coming forth as a corrupt GOP lobbyist whose going all whistleblower, or work on the League’s piece of the Campaign to Stop Alito (i’ll be in d.c. for the press conference this thursday 9am – more info to come), or any of the other myriad ways i could spend the day.

in the back of my mind my new friend is thinking of ways to get at me. ick. hopefully he isn’t reading this. but if he is – dude its not gonna work out the way you think. at all.

thankfully i got to chat with my first love, the mysterious ‘yugoslavian’ who stole my heart with kisses in the park 10 years ago this may. international chatting is so cool and modern feeling. i also got to chat with my last love, and the for the first time the friend box didn’t feel like a damp cramped waste of a space to occupy…it felt aight. AND i got chat with my dear sofia who is in transition in miami. miss you girl!

last night after the family stone-king kong excitement, jen and i were awaiting our cab and this car pulled up. the man got out with an umbrella in his hand, and the girl next to us ran out to meet him. he hugged her close, then opened the car for her and kissed her on the cheek before closing the door and running around to drive her home. jen and i looked at each other and smiled – out with the old and in with the new, standards that is. 2006 is the year for being treated like an angel on the run – cherished and holy, but so much fun.

in the meantime, i have been enjoying my preview copy of grub, byrant and anna’s new book from penguin. its a dope collection of essays around healthy community food and dope recipes, many of which i have tasted and are now immortalized! here’s a picture of the book amidst my indoor garden:

Grub_amidst_garden

i rarely do a double mention of an album, but mary j’s latest is such a solid listen from start to finish and has me in a good mood despite the distracting potential stalker. this good mood could also be because of my love note from shalini kali, filmmaker-thinker extraordinaire! hi shalini, love love you!

and have y’all checked out sharda’s org, nesri? http://www.nesri.org/about_us/index.html

tomorrow gavin and i’s pieces go up on wiretap/alternet. check www.wiretapmag.org to read and let us know what you think…

ok back to hiding under the covers from the phone!

the dark side

on the boombox: mary j’s brilliant new offering ‘the breakthrough’.

i just had a talk with the brilliant professor lester spence…some highlights:

– we need to create a survivor culture, where in addition to any other training, our folks are certified in first aid and emergency response. time to pack our octavia butler bags.
– the new orleans network, one of the orgs i am proudest to have worked with in a small way this year – is one of the best ideas to emerge out of the wreckage of katrina. mapping grassroots orgs with the strongest roots (hold) in the community is a model for how to approach emergency response in the future. we should be mapping every 9th ward in america…you can’t count on a country that sees you as an expendable work/fighting force to make sure you get to come back to your home, even (especially) if its one of the oldest african american communities in america. its america at the end of the sentence, and the money is in disneyfication. you can only fight that with the power of information and people willing to act on that info.
– we don’t know how to move beyond our capitalist socialization, even in our fantasies and in the future. our heros are always superhuman, chosen ones (neo, frodo) or chosen people (jedi, morpheus et al). only the talented 10th can save us? we don’t have enough of a belief in the actual skills and power of normal people to overcome their circumstances, its always a counter human existence we prize – the discipline of the monk, the genius of the superfighter.  but spence turned me on to a socialist sci-fi writer, china mieville – i’ll keep you posted…
– what if darth vader had actually been revealed as james earl jones and the pre-quel was the story of a young black boy maligned by the universe?

this all came about because after watching the very cute ensemble flick ‘the family stone’, jen and i decided to sneak into another movie. first we tried the ringer, but it was too offensive to stay. in the previews somehow i thought it would redeem itself but sitting in the theater as folks all around us laughed every time one of the special olympians came on the screen just felt icky. so we walked out, past all the staff, and went to the king kong that was just starting.

i am hard-pressed to say which of the films is ultimately more offensive, though king kong was much more enjoyable. cut an hour and a half and you would have had something. watching it you can feel peter jackson desperately trying to make up for the absence of tolkien-level writing. the scenes with island savages made me feel sick to my stomach, but i love that naomi ‘my eyes can get yet wider’ campbell just can’t resist king kong’s big old hands. the closing line – it was beauty that killed the beast – made me want to vomit on the first pretty person i saw. luckily i was checked by the fact that it was jen i saw and i would never intentionally vomit on her!

i guess the challenge with a remake is how to capture the spirit of the original story and time period, not give in to politically correct blase, but not perpetuate the ignorance. the movie wasn’t even about racist, it was about general across the board ignance, not to mention the line between badass and fool. i took a nap after the dinosaurs and bugs part, but i am pretty sure they skipped the whole middle passage section where they brought the dark beast for the chain-n-shackle show – somehow he just magically appeared in times square tossing blondes to their death in his search for that soulful white lady who could really hold some eye contact. and juggle. be still dark heart.

started off the day with an exciting meeting with marilyn clement who is heading up the healthcare now campaign, working to get congressfolk to sign on to a single payer healthcare bill (hr 676) that would involve the government paying for healthcare for all which is privately provided. its a smart bill, with a smart timeline, and i hope i can help to get some more candidates signed on and elected to sign on this year.

stay black and sleep!

post ravishing

ah

the planned unplanned time. i spent yesterday doing personality tests with shane, jen and justin – i am a narcissist ocd infj nympho according to the tests. whatever – through the twin lenses of mimosa and hot toddies it was aight – got a great foot rub, gave some back rub, yum yum yum. AND played spades and what!

got a plethora of wonderful new year’s wishes, wonderful wonderful. went to a party where the esteemed rabbi darkside was spinning cause my boy dennis is the restaurant manager and it was free and i had my flask and it was quite a gathering. and even kate and arie showed up to glam out. some horrible person handed out those loud noisemaker things to people too drunk to make a good call and not blow them repeatedly.

but then i got to go to veselka for my first meal of the new year – arugula and goat cheese pierogis and kielbasa – its gonna be a polish year damnit. at some point i ended up between a jamaican and four frenchies in a cab ride home – ‘peace jah mon, bon anninni!’

i was told i looked ravishing, and cute, and that i felt as good as i smelt and looked. i was quite whiskeyed up, but the compliments stuck.

lesson learned? in 06 – tell people when they look, smell, or feel good, particularly if you can find a reason to use the word ravishing!

and then of course there’s post-ravishing…of which i happen to have pictures because i think self photo shoots during hangovers are really revealing!

Post_ravishingDsc01507

post ravishing can actually double as present day drowned racoon! yes i even wore a bit of make-up which i never do…but please notice the excellent work my sister did on my eyebrows. april is the bomb. she celebrated with my mom and i think extended family, and autumn is in cold minnesota with her boyfriend’s family, while my dad is home in japan watching football games. sofia is in miami – we called each other several times through the night to acknowledge is was weird to be away from each other and then put smiles in our voices and scream happy new year some more!

now i want to…shower! mmm shower with my buffy the backside slayer exfoliation bar from lush. oh have a good day!