I went to visit some extended family recently after a long absence. We have some differences. Major life and afterlife belief system differences.

For a moment (which lasted for years) I thought perhaps the space was too wide to ever cross. But lately I have been shifting my relationship to space, time, myself. I had a dream, where one family member was explaining how hard it was to see the world I live in based on her life experience. 70 years versus my 31…what do I know?

I went to see them (meditating on how to be like water, letting things flow through me, moved by tides and forces I can’t see, able to hold the earth but never seen in my wholeness) and I learned so much.

First of all, they love me so much they want me to make it to heaven.

Second, God made over 7000 promises in the Bible, and a lot of them have to do with forgiveness.

Third, my whole family -including me- feels that anger eats the soul and should be converted into action energy.

Fourth, spirit guides my extended family’s life as much as it does mine. Mine has no name that I know, cannot be contained, and moves through me, uses my body, mouth, hands, mind and energy as a conduit for change towards justice. I think, based on our conversations, they would describe theirs the same way. The difference between words and ideas and faiths is so deep.

Five, I particularly think my grandfather is a holy man, and I know I am a holy woman. It was powerful to stand eye to eye and show each other love, say that we’d never stopped loving each other. The truth of that, of an 80 year old white Christian real estate horse whisperer loving his 31 year old black-white gay radical granddaughter, knowing exactly who she is, and being loved in return, with no one yelling or conceding their beliefs or identities…that was its own healing.

Mostly, I have a lot to learn about love.