i just have to tell you all, because it’s SO amazing:

1. i left my computer at security when leaving town a few days ago*, and have been remarkably released by not having it around. my dreams are vivid and lucid, my ability to be present is vastly different, and my workaholic-virgo-oldest-perfectionist self is powerless against this challenge.

2. i dropped my phone in a pitcher of water.

3. i am now in a packed schedule running around oakland with none of my traditional tools for communicating, having to make plans that mean something and just laugh at myself as i continuously reach for tools i use to arrange and rearrange my life constantly.

but the beautiful thing is, it feels like a universe-imposed vacation in the midst of a lot of work. i am laughing, and feeling freed up and not at all freaking out.

in the absence of constant external stimulation, i can see that every message coming to me is about health, balance, well-being, rest, sustainability.

it is possible to live unsustainably in a period of stress, but it is also possible to have too many amazing things to attend, to be too excited by life, and i have been in that zone. my life is breathlessly exciting right now, with birth and rebirth as the functioning metaphor for everything. labor, miracle, labor, miracle – there is no difference, no separation.

so grounding myself, and pacing myself, because labor and miracles take time, you submit to it, you give in to what your body knows how to do, and to the knowledge of the baby or concept or political formation as it makes it’s way into the world.

tonight i am finding my way to water somehow – i have been thinking a LOT about water the past few days. the incomprehensible immensity of ocean, the shapeshifting co-existence of icebergs in water, the separation and reunion of water as it moves through the cycle from ocean to vapor to cloud to rain to lake/river/stream to ground water and back into ocean again…that is the life process, becoming individual and then moving back to the whole. that is the one-ness that presents itself as a multitude, or a season of monsoon, or an absence of drought.

these are the kind of things i think when i am in the world. i just wanted to share it with you. now i have to leave this portal…you too 🙂

* the computer is there, ilana checked on it, i will get it back, it’s fine.