how that baby came

write a poem that recounts a creation myth.

of course this is the prompt
on the day i remember
what i forgot
which i would never forget
but my life is so full

a child unwanted and unplanned
and not viable
not a child
not a myth
a bundle of cells
a body-gathering-into-concept of cells

a queer woman’s question of men
a barren woman’s only chance, perhaps
a young woman feeling her age
as the end of a dysfunctional fertility

this was never magic
i did not glow
the only thing i noticed on my own
was the smell of garbage everywhere
as this little one was lost inside me
destroying the tunnel of life with greed

my baby was so american
my baby never was
in a house i never owned
with a man i never married
and i had no degree, no savings
nothing at all really
nothing

and i still have such a full life
and i still refuse to pay the cost
the bills will have to wait for my grief
just like me

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