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solstice

whisper near a lit candle. when you finish, blow it out

i am grateful for the dark.
i am grateful for the black.
i am grateful for the shadow.
i am grateful for the fear.
i am grateful to still feel the future.
i am grateful for my rage.
i am grateful i can forgive.
i am grateful for each mistake.
i am grateful for the ancestors i’ll never know, only feel.
i am grateful for the ancestors i am claiming in the void left by colonialism.
i am grateful for my new ancestors, even as i weep.
(i can still smell your perfume and powder on my child skin, thank you.)
i am grateful for the long night.
i am grateful for this long sleep.
i am grateful for quiet dreams.
i am grateful for doors pulled but not shut.
i am grateful for those who show me their wounds when they see mine.
i am grateful for those who change through making, grow through listening.
i am grateful for private outbursts and offers of love, let’s not perform anymore.
i am grateful to be heard, even if i am not understood.
i am grateful for good work.
i am grateful for the smallest things.
the smallest, darkest things.

ps. my name means the dark one.