i can’t tell you to stay here in this life with all that you have witnessed, all that has been taken from you, denied to you.
what was yours/taken: your father, justice, your skin as haven, the ease of holding your newborn child.
it’s so heavy to carry that love. your heart is not weak but it is heavy and we all know only pieces of that weight and we all carry pieces of that burden.
i cannot tell you to stay here. i just want to say thank you out loud while you breathe. you have been ferocious in this life, chosen the steepest path of grief, the one that will not rest.
some way you need to rest now.
if you come home, we await you.
if you go home, we release you.
with this black breath, we honor you.