Monthly Archive for July, 2018

“kindness eases change” for real

dear aliens-unseen-and/or-beyondhumans-and-spirits/gods/deities-and-other-benevolent-entities-aware-of-this-planet,

it’s probably selfish to ask for your help. you may only know my planet from its space garbage or psychic toxicity. nonetheless, today would be a good day for some advice or intervention.

this morning i witnessed a white man screaming at a black man in detroit. i was preparing to give a brief talk, so i finished it with Octavia’s words, “kindness eases change”…how did she know this? and how do we practice this with those who are not practicing?

i was born in the US and in my lifetime it has not much improved as an experiment in coexistence. mostly it’s been this same type of black and white interaction, with different clothing on. there’s a constant turning away from each other, competing against each other, harming each other for complex reasons and then not growing beyond the harm.

our planet is gorgeous and fecund, but my species is swallowing everything with greed based consumption practices and crowding the biodiversity out of existence. and then we try and come together, sometimes the pressures of the world push us down until we explode.

i am thinking a lot about what kind of freedom is available for sentient beings, and, in a separate but connected part of me, wondering if sapience always has to move us away from freedom because something about being able to think leads to control behaviors. almost everyone i hear talking about freedom is simultaneously proposing an alternative system of control. perhaps we have strayed too far from freedom in our evolution, and it will take many generations to remember how to be wild.

how long is long enough? how long is too long? are we on time?

i’m sending this message to you through many minds, because my comrades and i do not have access to the space range communication devices on our planet. or confirmation of most things we would need to know to send this message to you, such as your existence. still, i write this, and others will read it and it will become a small part of collective consciousness. and i suspect that any species more evolved than us will have the capacity to know what the collective consciousness knows.

how do we get through this? how do we keep going when it’s really very hard and overwhelming?

there are many ways to look at history, one way is as a scroll of suffering. i wouldn’t want to live at a time before this, even though it’s all going to shit right now. perhaps it is my limited imagination, or my ego, which thinks i am more free than my ancestors were, more connected.

i am tired of the story of suffering, of being defined and sorted and gathered and deepened by shared suffering.

i am many kinds of people, and i want us all to get a cosmic, psychic, material break. i think we need a breath in between all the cancer and breakdowns and trauma and bad leadership and kidnapped children and racism and hatred.

i will speak for me, i need a break.

so how do we generate boundaries that don’t become borders? how do find the balance between the self and the collective – how do we learn how full our cups should be in order to have enough to share without getting empty, without constant spilling?

all i’m really saying is we’re tired, i’m tired and i often feel like that’s not allowed. but it’s for the whole species, i’m tired like a velociraptor.

how do we be tired and stagger ourselves and get humble and make our small offers valiantly and with joy? how do we grieve without losing sight of life?

how do we become a species worth keeping?

all answers welcome…i’m sure you aliens-unseen-and/or-beyondhumans-and-spirits/gods/deities-and-other-benevolent-entities-aware-of-this-planet will channel it back through human mouths and fingers and i am open to it, i need it.

thanks,
amb

star wars and summer

yesterday i went to the star wars costume exhibit at the detroit institute of the arts and i highly recommend it. i would tell you all about it but it’s actually important, as a fan, to say that the best part was just standing close to the actual things that they wore, to just feel the force in all of these small items, to look at the puppets and the wool and the dresses and say thanks for shaping me. so go if you can, it’s up until september!

this summer i am writing a ton of things and may not be able to post too often. i am really learning about my introvert nature this year, the place in me that just needs quiet time. i am naming it here and with loved ones because i have no intention to let people down or be anti-social. i am actually with people so deeply, i am in the most nourishing intimacies i have ever experienced. this period of my life is all about staying available to something much larger than myself, and staying quiet enough to hear it.

but i do want to encourage people to:

– rest whenever you can, deeply and well. act as if you can store up sleep and you need as much stored up as you can get.

– reflect on what the longest-term commitments of your life are, and see if you need to make any adaptations in order to actually center those commitments in your daily life. don’t put it off, don’t wait on answering your calling.

– have a summer that feels like a pleasure and a celebration as an act of resistance against an administration that seems to want to break us with misery. tap into childhood fun self, get a kids swimming pool even if you’re an adult, count lightning bugs, watch sunsets, make out in summer rainstorms, go someplace you have never been, even if it’s in your same town, eat ice cream, wear booty shorts, cultivate your joy.

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