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I cannot be your mentor, here’s everything I know

i have been getting weekly requests to mentor people. i am not a great one to one mentor, and my life dance card is full in the best way. here are some things i know related to mentoring and the things i would offer to those in search of such guidance:

a mentor cannot teach you more than life itself. gather lessons from those who help you see your life as practice ground.

beware of mentors who say you remind them of their younger selves – you can never know how they feel about the past, and what they might try to help you avoid that you actually need to go thru.

accept the guidance and feedback of people who love themselves.

choose who you will belong to, let them, let those relationships, grow you up.

while romance is wonderful, great friendship is more valuable and sustainable. build friendship foundations under all of it. prioritize your time accordingly.

sometimes when it’s hard you have to stay in and get shaped by it. sometimes, you have to go. both moves will teach you the importance of themselves and of the other. the other move, yes. and the other person (or people) who you are enduring or abandoning.

you will do almost everything you say “i promise to never” do, especially things you promise to never do to someone who loves you. and if you don’t do exactly those things, it may be at great cost to your destiny. it’s in our design, so you’re not above it. promise less. promise to become yourself and nothing less.

most things you declare about yourself are aspirational. just be, and let yourself be experienced.

use scrivener to write books.

track your time anytime you feel you have none. find where you are wasting it and decide how much you care about your destiny. is your destiny more compelling than scrolling? than corresponding with people who annoy you? than reading circular news about things you will do nothing about? than a mediocre delicious show? than obligatory relationships? we all need enough room to stare into space sometimes, enough time to integrate life.

read (articles, books – or take in other forms of texts like art and music) as much as you write. but write (think, converse, ideate) as much as you read (scroll) too.

you can’t skip the hard parts and have any meaningful impact on the world.

while you’re inside the hard parts, it doesn’t feel like wisdom.

trust the part of people that doesn’t follow through. let it/future expectations go.

your body is saying everything to you, you can know almost everything if you listen.

your feelings are never more important than revolution. and your feelings are a crucial part of revolution. find the balance and get to work.

don’t ask me anything you can find in a book or on the internet, start talking at the edge of what’s known.

find the front lines of humanity inside your own life and system. advance them.

love yourself along the way for being part of the greatest purpose of our species: liberated and liberating life.