no straight lines

i think the lesson for the week is: there are no straight lines.

i’ve been going through this moment – all these people coming at me but none quite…eh, i don’t know. i think swimming post-heartbreak is like, yes there are other fish in the sea. but you’ve come to prefer one and everyone else ends up in your pool. its hot hot hot, and you maybe go into that world and find some satisfation, but then you giggle and you keep it moving.

and finding out all these new ways that you can be right and wrong about people – you’re surprised because they are greater than you expect and disappointed because…the same people, but they’re human and thoughtless. and communication – you think out what you need to let folks know and then they are there in front of you and some other words, true but not what you intended, come out of your face, and some other faces get made to back up those words and before you know it the whole relationship has changed – deeper or shallower, clearer or wonderfully less clear.

lately i’ve been a little all over, somehow reconnected with everyone i ever met, and then new ones, and its fulfilling and its exhausting. i’m laughing but i’m never joking, i’m moving but very present. but i have to focus in though – too much zha zha zha all over.

not to mention, time stripping people down in this way can be remarkably sad, and unveil yourself to you, then you end up half balanced on a sunday afternoon. la la in my head…

but work is a respite, perhaps i should do some more…

ladies, go buy a space invader tomorrow at toys in babeland. for your health!

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