Monthly Archive for November, 2005

my perfect day

hello – i am writing you from inside my perfect day :)

i woke up this morning, finished and sent off my last major pressing piece of planning work – which means in the past 3 days i have completed two segments of league 2006 planning, my 360 staff evaluation, ruckus evaluations, compiling ruckus 2006 plans, two week-long organizational development retreat agendas…on roughly 7 total hours of sleep.

but i woke up this morning ready to go because i planned myself a great day today. i went to meet my sister and her boyfriend for arugula and goat cheese pierogis and kielbasa at veselka (this was the last day for those particular perfect pierogis as they were the flavor of the month – i was so happy to catch them one last time). then i took my sister to the baths, as this was her birthday gift. yesterday was her birthday and we celebrated at spoonbread. yummy, too.

when we got to the baths i booked her a dead sea salt scrub and a mud treatment. wednesday is women’s day, so everyone can go nude and its the healthiest feeling, to be around women in the heat. the whole time i am taking mental pictures, everyone of every shape and variety looks so beautiful in the ritual of community bathing and sweating and indulgence. i created a peppermint water mix to toss over the heat in one room, which makes every pore of your body feel the way your mouth feels with a peppermint patty in it…remarkably clean inside and out.

near the end of the baths autumn and i crept upstairs where the men were working to brazenly smoke a j there. one young worker said he’s been here a month, comes from a country near afghanistan where they role them ‘like my finger, so thick’. we laughed, and they all laughed at us in russian.

then i had my higher level thought for the day, which was that you get to an age where right and wrong become more clear, and where doing right becomes noble. and autumn said, but that doesn’t ensure there is a universal truth. but then i thought, it can if you imagine the truth as a non-linear thing, as a four dimension thing, or even as merely a spine, that only if all the pieces that can be right align are you truly in a place to function – which, like the spine’s alignment, is a miracle. universal truth is the miracle of flow, the alignment of rightness in your heart, and you feel in an honest place with life when the different parts of your life are flowing. some people flow from working hard and action, some from deep relaxation and contemplation – i need equal parts both.

so…then my sister and i walked down the city – i had finally scheduled the massage i got for my birthday from kate and arie. i walked down from the baths, past st marks and all the stylish people. my sister and i parted ways and i kept walking, winding my way through the neighborhoods to chinatown, a brisk pace on the sunny side of the street on a warm day. WITH my mariah carey soundtrack putting the betty boop pep in my step.

and then i found love in the hands of an old chinese man in a basement on mott street. his name is tony, his game is acupressure, and he left me transformed. i gasped, i sighed, i moaned, i giggled from the good pain releasing from me, i breathed through it. i reached a peak that only be imagined as a whimper. afterwards i couldn’t take my eyes off of him, or stop murmuring wonderful wonderful. i tipped him extravagantly.

and THEN i walked home on the south side of the manhattan bridge. some folks prefer the brooklyn bridge, but the manhattan at sunset is the boss move. the brooklyn bridge is gorgeous with the sun behind it, and the city finally looks whole again to me, i don’t see it as a wounded place. i am glad to live here now when i can see the city this way, a little lower, more equality on both sides of the bridges, nothing jarring in either skyline. i am glad i got to see the boats cutting across the white glassy surface, watch the surface warm as the sun fell, all the buildings and the happeningness of all the people. the grafitti that side of the bridge, the kids making out in a nook this side of the bridge. remember when you kissed so furiously because you were pretending passion…before learning of tenderness and the brink and going deeper into pleasure that shakes your very spirit.

and still to come – dinner with my newly engaged dear friend isaac; possible drinks with a young man i might take as a lover if he can hold my interest – he’s an actor and perhaps could fulfill my fantasy of someone whispering ‘to sleep perchance to dream’ against my neck as night comes; dessert to celebrate a friend’s birthday. and i’m watching close encounters of the third kind.

this, so its down for the record, is my perfect day. my work is done, my body is relaxed, my heart is full, my mind is clear and my time isn’t done.

my friend billy parish is in montreal this week for the International Climate Negotiations in Montreal and you should definitely check out their blog. http://www.itsgettinghotinhere.org/

all is full of love, it’s all around you – bjork

a few short things

so i have been deep in 2005 evaluations and 2006 planning process for two organizations that i love which means long nights, long days, talking aloud to myself and losing major documents and having to rewrite them and realizing i haven’t eaten or washed more than my teeth for longer than my OCD ass can stand.

but i will pop my head out for a few random thoughts!

one – i sent cynthia mckinney talking points on tookie williams and i haven’t heard back from her. does that mean she didn’t like them, didn’t get them, or what? in the meantime, the schwarz-man has said he would consider clemency for tookie, but we need exert pressure on him. if you aren’t informed about tookie’s execution, its set for december 13th and you can get more information at www.savetookie.org, sign a petition at http://colorofchange.org/williams.html, and call in to make your voice heard as often as possible to: 916-445-2841

two – i got invited to a party by someone. i am convinced this person hates me, though i don’t know why. he is always rude in a weird way when we see each other. its unfortunate because i think he’s dope, even used to have a mini-crush, blah blah. conundrum…

three – if you haven’t seen born into brothels yet, rent it. i put it on yesterday and really had a hard time multi-tasking while it was on – so amazing, so beautiful and it’s these awesome kids. just rent it. preferably on netflix cause everything else sucks.

four – is it strange that the more i need to focus, the more i need to have going at once? yesterday i looked up and i had oprah on the tv, mariah playing, playing minesweeper in the corner of my screen while reviewing and editing my documents, having 8 im conversations half of which were work and half of which were on love or current lack thereof, AND on the phone AND eating peanuts. work bliss.

five – i had a short lapse with cigarettes yesterday. a while ago i was with someone who bought a pack to use the tobacco to roll…something…yeah and anyway afterwards the pack ended up in my bag and i was like oh i will give this to one of the 3000 smokers in my midst but then i didn’t give it away and then there it was. yesterday. i talked to it – i just said no, no no no no no! then i said half. then i said dear god that feels good. then i went into full lapse mode! but it is over, it was a dark day and that day is behind me. bye bye lapse day, hello heart.

six – speaking of hearts i also had a short lapse with the heartbreaker the other week where we were back in touch and admitted missing each other in specific ways and i was cool for a second and then my heart was like oh you think you can just be friends with mofos i don’t think so you silly silly little ho. i am in a battle with my heart currently cause i really think i CAN be friends, that i can be mature, and regardless i can’t have a no communications option and –

ouch – just got bitchslapped by heart. my bad. never mind…sigh.

seven – i am mcing an event dec 2nd…last chance to see me before i leave for basically all of december!

¡Viva El Barrio!

A Celebration of East Harlem's Strength and Diversity
through Art, Music, and Poetry

Friday, December 2, 2005
6pm until 9pm

Union Settlement Auditorium
237 East 104th St (b/w 2nd and 3rd Avenues)

In commemoration of World AIDS Day 2005, ¡Viva El
Barrio! will pay tribute to loved ones lost to
HIV/AIDS, and empower our community to "KEEP THE
PROMISE"!

LIVE MUSIC    POETRY    DANCE    FOOD    DJ

This is a FREE EVENT!

Sponsored jointly by Mount Sinai School of Medicine,
the Center for Multicultural Affairs, East Harlem HIV
Care Network, and Johnson Counseling Center of Union
Settlement.

monday monday

whew – ok taking a short break from listening to mariah carey and preparing for two upcoming organizational retreats in california to post. i haven’t been posting daily right now, there’s a lot going on. but a lot of it is the kind of frustrating end of the year work. no venting, no venting!

its my sister autumn’s birthday tuesday – she’s shown amazing grace through a rough year – looking back at that time right after college…flames flames. one flame has included not being able to find a really exciting job as an organizer…i remember myself how hard it was to find organizations that were willing to make an investment in an organizer with youth and college organizing experience.

today i had breakfast with someone who i met during my harm reduction days and we just had a kvetching session about the corporatizion of non-profits and non-profit funding, and how amazingly qualified people don’t get good opportunities that actually pay a living wage right now, how prevalent mismanagement is, and how rarely non-profits are a realization of the organization’s public values. it’s so disappointing to be in this period of generational shift when young women of color particularly are not able to find a safe supportive space to really floruish, and often because older, well-intentioned folks in the movement are not willing to really hand over power. we really have to start calling this out when we see it and challenging ourselves and those we love and work with to step beyond this movement barrier.  

in other news – i changed the song on my outgoing voice mail message and its getting good reviews. AND bette midler is on the view this morning as my background noise :) life’s little pleasures!

though…last night i watched the first movie that really made me question too much pleasure – gore vidal’s ‘caligula’. my boy nathan rented this on dvd and they watched and said it seemed like i should. not sure what to make of this, since it was extreme orgiastic scenes interspliced with super explicit violence. anytime you’d start to get a little heat then something horrific would happen. makes you want to be a quiet monk!

adrienne the monk. hmmm.

wanted to share this upcoming
event with you. also, it’s world aids day on december 1st, in addition
to being the birthday of my beloved sofia santana, so lots of
celebration this week before i head to california for two weeks…i am mcing an aids event on dec 2, as soon as i
get more information from shonali i will let y’all know.

check this out:

Hi there!

Junior Vasquez here. I want to tell you about a party that you can’t miss on Saturday, December 3rd at the Manhattan Center.

Move Against AIDS is a five
hour Dance-a-thon that benefits GMHC and the Community HIV/AIDS
Mobilization Project. I’ll be there along with DJ’s Tony Moran, Chad
Jack, Mary Mac and Tony Touch. Special guests and performers also
include Tyson Beckford, Jai Rodriguez, Jody Watley, Kim English, and
Wendy Williams – and a very special performance by Jason Walker during
my set!

Last year was an absolutely
incredible show, and I’m thrilled to return this year to do what I can
to help these important organizations confront the ongoing HIV/AIDS
crisis in our community. Over 15,000 men women and children benefit
from the services provided by GMHC.

Even here in NYC it’s not
often that you have the opportunity to see the nations best DJ’s on one
night. Don’t miss your chance! You can get more info at www.moveagainstaids.org or call 212-807-9255. Register today and make your move against AIDS!

See you December 3rd!
Junior Vasquez

Register now to make a difference in the lives of thousands of people living with HIV/AIDS. 

Raise more to help more –
join the New and Improved Red Carpet Club!  Challenge yourself by
setting a goal of raising $350 or more.  Incentives include:

• Access to our special Platinum Pavillion.  Free refreshments and lots of perks!

• Everyone who
raises $350 or more will be entered into a drawing for a pair of
round-trip tickets on Delta Air Lines good for flights in the U.S.,
Canada, Caribbean or Mexico!

• Receive the official Move Against AIDS Red Carpet Club messenger bag, knit cap with flip brim and t-shirt!

• Free express admission to
the official Move Against AIDS after-party at crobar featuring DJ David
Morales.  The after-party will include an open bar from 1:00 a.m. –
2:00 a.m. (21 and over only)!

Register today and make your move against AIDS!

me and mariah go back like…(my review of the emancipation of mimi)

thanksgiving was amazing and awesome and i went horseback riding and gave a little concert with my sister for the family and no murders occurred tho there were guns on some of the horseback rides but not mine cause i generally feel if its your time its your time so blah blah blah. but on the way home my sisters and i got to listen to The Emancipation of Mimi, Mariah Carey’s latest offering to the gods of high notes and love songs.

i have to back up here so y’all understand my deep and everlasting love for crazy ass mariah.

my parents saw mariah on arsenio hall and told me about her, and then, then i saw her and I had a vision of love. i bought the TAPE and listened to it over and over on my walkman, i would spend entire nights wearing out batteries listening to her. when she rapped on prisoner of love i was right there with her – ‘maybe you don’t think that i’ll be strong enough but i’m not gonna be a prisoner of yo love no more, no more,’  i was tryin to tap with her on all in your mind.

and someday?? deserves its own paragraph! the most wonderful btft (by teen for teen) two snaps of songwriting. i know i am not alone as a teen girl scorned in love whose only rebuttal is that someday the fool will recognize that you are a mariah carey level individual and come running back, but it will be too late. real life has shown that often, that is not the case. still, the song is a DEEP comfort – somewhere there exists footage of me playing mariah carey in a 7th or 8th grade theater class video reenactment.

from then on, when mariah carey’s new albums dropped, everything would simultaneously drop from my schedule while i listened and learned to sing every song she put out there. i learned to sing from mariah, to strain my voice into multiple octaves. i learned to love my curly hair.

i distinctly remember the first time i heard dreamlover and the boy it brought to mind. i remember rollerskating with my current boyfriend at a high school lock-in to fantasy. folks slept on baby doll, and breakdown was just brilliant. i even went so far as to love the mariah version of the beautiful ones, even though she had crisco-cisco on there as a faux-prince.

mariah went thru some hard times – heartbreak, trynna reclaim her daddy, a total breakdown and suicide attempt and being just plain crazy. i was feelin you mariah! glitter and charmbracelet were just as hard on me, mariah! and yet she kept giving us a taste of what she was capable of – i mean heartbreaker is a classic. both the jay-z and da brat/missy remixes are on my favorites playlist to this day.

a couple of months ago i saw the video for we belong together – it brought tears to my eyes. then shake it off – i was still too broke to make a purchase but i knew something was happening – in the interviews she looked healthy, only slightly off, mariah was back and even had the balls to say ‘don’t call it a comeback’.

and now, with the full hearing of the emanicipation of mimi, i am just so proud of my girl. she is ‘sangin’ again, she got good producers on here, it is a wonderful album. and it’s thematic, the whole thing is about still being caught up on someone who you just wish would come back, not forget you, give you one more chance, when you can’t make it….she does the 8th octave thing…the highlights are so high – your girl, the neptunes productions, the joyride with that insane note near the end??!! the gospel closer?!?! the song that is basically about giving head!? snoop?? TWISTA?!!!

i am back in the audience, lighter all lit and burning my thumb with joy!

thank you mariah, thank you for writing your own proclamation :)

now give us us go’ment cheese!!

murderer in the backyard

i know i tend to be fairly dramatic, but sometimes life gives me good reason.

like these past couple of days, where a MURDERER has been lurking in my grandparent’s backyard.

YES.

A MURDERER.

in north augusta, my eventual thanksgiving location, a man walked into a huddle house (a.k.a. the other white waffle house) and demanded the wallet of a family friend of my grandparents. the friend said no, and the man shot him, killed him, and then shot the preacher who was also there. he’d already shot someone else in the area.

he ran, and was Hiding Out On My Grandparent’s Property.

i may have mentioned before that my grandparents have a farm with horses on it. large portions of it have been bought up so a highway can be built through the middle of it, which is sad, because it’s a quaint and beautiful place. but my mema and papa are hardworking people who hit their financial peak long ago and need this…

anyway, sheriffs and bloodhounds tracked the killer’s footprints up to my uncle’s home, which is a refurbished barn behind my grandparents house, and then to the horse supply shed between the two homes. the po-po have been scouring the property, all up in the woods, and haven’t found the killer, who is armed. its possible he’s being helped by the mentally ill neighbor across the street, whose claim to fame thus far has been flaunting middle fingers while yelling nasty things at folks as they drive by…

tomorrow we head down for the big meal. it promises to be interesting, as all the menfolk have spent the past couple days watching t.v. with shotguns on their laps. i am always telling my grandmother in particular not to live in fear, so this blows all that to hell. it also blows to hell my youthful debates with my grandfather on the danger of keeping hunting rifles in the home; these are my beloved white southern christian relatives, for whom hunting is a childhood sport and adult hobby. they are good people, godfearing people, who have slowly but overwhelmingly come to embrace their black grandchildren, and not in a yucky Bush-embracing-’hispanic’-relatives-ish way.

i spent the day safe with my sisters in columbia. we went to see the opening night of rent, which is always an emotional experience of art for me. i cried like a baby, thinking of all the people i love who are living with hiv, and trying to think of ways to incorporate that work back into what i’m doing these days, as its still the work of my heart. 

this time with my sisters is deep – i am sitting back and listening to them, and its good. they are growing up and they are hilarious and strong. i have so much to tell them but so far nothing important is coming out of my mouth, sometimes that happens with family. i am so happy to be around them, i don’t want to bring into this place some of the life i’ve been living of late. it strikes me that i am depressed, having a low moment, but having acknowledged that…it seems less important than just soaking them up.

my sister april lives with this tiny sweet southern woman who also happens to be a 40-year-old active duty soldier who served in iraq and loves bush. the house is decorated with lots of flowers and quilts and wall hangings that say ‘home is where the army sends you’. the roommate, who is not actually staying here while we’re here, seemed very sweet when we met her. she’s in school with april this year getting a masters in media. my sister april teaches me so much about looking beneath the external markers of a person to value their life experiences, to see so much of what i take so seriously (a person’s politics) as merely an outward show of engaging in the world, the meat not the marrow. she teaches me to choose my battles, and choose my tactics with more care.

i keep meaning to write brief missives and coming out with long posts here…not sure why. the wind is pressing up all around the house and i’m inside and warm and sleepy. tomorrow i’ll go where killers tread stealing this land years ago and where killers tread now. my roots go into red and white soil, this dirtiest kind of south, where loved ones await me.

i was really looking forward to stuffing my face with homecooked food till a misguided friend grabbed my arm and told me i was plump, which made me lose my appetite. i had no idea!! hopefully my mind can recover from this stunning expose on the state of my body. i will only be able to give true thanks if my appetite comes back before the sweet potato souffle with crushed pecan crust is served…

wish me luck! and hey molly :)

me and charlotte sitting in a tree

and what i mean by that is the charlotte airport, which is my favorite airport in the country. which is great since i spent 6 hours there when my already long lay-over was extended due to a mysterious delay. there have been times in my life when that kind of delay would really upset me, but today it was great, because i had my computer to do some work, i had a book to read, and it was this particular airport.

the charlotte airport has a brookstone with the latest massage chair model – the one with a hand and arms massaging part! i kicked off my shoes and did some deep tissue and shiatsu work. i have gotten to the place where i don’t mind enjoying the massage chair to the full out extent as long as possible – until someone taps me and asks if i am interested in buying the chair. interested yes, in possession of $4,000 for a chair, no.

i rock the chair like it is in my home, even though it is a display chair so people walk by and comment, facially. the women generally smile that wry american grin of shame…’look, she’s clearly enjoying herself…jezebel. i want to do that but my husband stickbooty would frown upon it.’

9 out of 10 men look at the breasts only and keep walking. this stat is of course just based on one afternoon in north carolina, but still, isn’t that how most stats on the american male are documented?

this airport also has a chili’s where a girl can put away two el nino margaritas and a bowl of soup and no one bats an eye even if its before noon. AND it has rocking chairs by windows all throughout the place, lots of light and very little construction. and no real internet connection to speak of, so all i could do was work without the distraction of gaim (my encrypted consolidated chat program where i can see aim, yahoo, msn, etc all on one list! gracias satya!) or email.

then i arrived in south carolina where i was picked up by my two stunning sisters and whisked off to dinner at – can you guess? OLIVE GARDEN!! o.g. has significant sentimental value in my family – as does burger king and i can’t even start on dominos. when we were in the u.s. and could get this type of marvelous exotic over-the-top food it was a miracle. those breadsticks make me think of a time when eating out was a special event for special occasions – as opposed to now when it’s breakfast, lunch and dinner.

and this WAS a special event, for this was the official brown sisters meeting with april’s big football boyfriend stanley. he was completely sweet and the two of them were giddy and comfortable together and overall it was just sickeningly cool. stanley is ranked the 12th or 13th defensive lineman in the country right now and stands a good chance of going pro. he’s got a thick louisiana accent and his appeal is like that of the rock, all cocked brow and bulk.

tomorrow the loungefest officially begins, which basically consists of my sisters and i seeing who can go the longest without getting dressed, cleaning, or moving in any way from the couch where we are watching scarface, the godfather, and whatever else is in april’s collection. i cannot put into words how much i have needed this time and looked forward to it. everyone should have something, or some people, comparable to this in life. and be grateful for it.

this is thanksgiving week, where everyone in the progressive community tries to outdo each other by coming up with something else to call it. happy whatever you end up calling it. be grateful for your history and your present and your future.

oh…geez

today is hard…

not hard for me personally, i’m deep in my process and working my way through all these thoughts in my head – who is serious about this movement work, who is not serious…what is power really like and how fast do we have to go before people see that we are building it and it takes time…and why are all the amazing people i know going through the hardest times of their lives?

when i run out of hope i start to run on faith. i’m at that place now. i’ve been spending some good time in my head, and some great time working, but for today, i give it all over to faith. faith that there’s a purpose to the pain beyond my comprehension and faith that we do take things so personally and so seriously sometimes when it doesn’t have anything to do with us, when its time and circumstances and all we are meant to do is give in to the flow and survive. hope will return tomorrow, as i am about to travel down to south carolina and meet my sister’s football boyfriend and taste my grandmother’s cooking.

days with my sisters! thank god!

i’m tired :)

my plants

ok i am so real about my plants!

today i bought plant food and a plant light to help my babies through the winter. this is part of a new project for me, as i haven’t previously had a great history of keeping plants alive. i’ve been so transient – but now i am settling a bit in ft. green. of course, with my travel schedule i’ll need help. but still, they are living and i am responsible. i can’t have a pet, but these plants are resilient and only need to be fed every two weeks or so!

now i have 6 and they are looking beautiful and they all have names and they keep me good company. robespierre, muddy waters, autumn’s-plant-please-don’t-die, wonka, l’il lamb, and miss fabulous are blossoming!

that’s the most exciting thing happening this weekend and, to be quite honest, its Very Very exciting! :)

grow something!

bedouins, farmers and cookie monsters!

the brooklyn bedouin just left - i love a full grown man who really understands 
a true slumber party! ibrahim abdul-matin arrived in SHORTS so he could feel
the cold, then made an argument that his ancestors come from upstate ny
and the cold is in his blood. crazy, deranged!

my newest plant sprouted today!! little green shoots up through wet dark soil,
such a joy to see. i am going to buy a plant light to help these babies make
it through the winter!

i heard from my farmerboy, a darling i met in california - he and his dad run
farms in the u.s. and canada and document family farm culture, now he is
traveling the world playing music and making art.  his current question - go
to kenya for the world social forum or just skip it and go to india? my answer -
take me with you, either place!

i also heard from darling seiji, who is taking off for thailand and wanted book
recommendations. i recommend everyone, especially every traveler, read 'the
famished road' by ben okri. its about a spiritchild who comes to earth and
decides to stay, and all the adventures he has as a human boy who is aware
of all the spirits in the world. the famished road was once a river, and always
urges the traveler to keep moving. its a beautiful magical book.

i went grocery shopping with chelsea peretti yesterday, and while she found
all the healthy things in pathmark, i found the krispy creme doughnuts and
the new O magazine! the whole issue is about pleasure - how could i RESIST?
i am the pleasure activist! so now i am laying about the house working, thinking
about the donuts, drinking tea, and flipping thru O.

now while i lay about the house, janine is in the field gathering hilarious stories.
the thing about my friends is - we have a point of view. this point of view sees
the true merde-fest that is human existence, and opts to accentuate the
positive, even when the only way to do that is to laugh uproariously at life.
case in point:

"My Boss was asked to tactfully tell a colleague of ours (Francine) about
her assistant's problem with the cookies. This is the e-mail my boss wrote:

-----Original Message-----
From: My Boss
Sent: Thursday, November 17, 2005 3:55 PM
Subject: Cookie monster

Dear Francine,
Pardon my bluntness, but we've got a favor to ask you. 
Would you please speak to Your Assistant about her cookie habit? 
As you know, all work places have unwritten codes of etiquette.  Cookie jar
etiquette would  read something like - please help yourself to cookies, but
don't forget to leave some for everyone else.  Your Assistant eats cookies
all day. She eats cookies until there are no more cookies in the jar.  More
than one person has noticed, so it has to be addressed. Sorry to pass along
this uncomfortable task!"

-

I say, thank god for small blessings and big cookies!

WOAH life!

woah life!!!

today i got a gorgeous collaged tobacco box from brilliant author and my friend kathy wilson in cincinnati and she included in it this stunning ring from cuba which i had admired when last at her home. kathy and i have a legendary literary friendship, an email mutual autobiographing, that includes little gifts – i made her an oil, she made me this piece of functional art with the ring, now i have to step it up…its very cool, and i encourage everyone to find someone brilliant and superior to correspond with.

and today i got a call On My Cell Phone from cynthia mckinney, the progressive congresswoman from georgia, about helping her draft a letter to the governator in support of clemency for tookie williams! thats a scary call, with only one answer – yes, i will help. his story is so incredible – check savetookie.org – he was the founder of the crips, is set to be executed on dec 13, and was a 2002 nominee for the nobel peace prize for his anti-gang work. california hasn’t granted clemency since 1967, its time to save a life and set a precedent for redemption. thanks davey d for puttin me in the work.

and today i got to talk to four people who are in the hardest bravest place in life – when you put your foot down, sometimes for the hundredth time, and make the commitment to finding your slice of sanity and putting it on a pedestal. y’all rock, i’m saving all my love for y’all. (i feel like its wrong to paraphrase whitney houston without sweating like a saint on satan’s lap and saying i’d like to thank god, my fans, and I LOVE YOU BOBBY AND FRUMPY L’IL BOBBIE XTINA!!!)

today i got to relive some experiments i’ve engaged in during my short life and decided that i am excited by the yeses, and proud of the nos.

and today, evans richardson the ViV said we can hang out this weekend, which means i. am. be. side. my. self!

today my sister april passed her ‘oral defense’ which is a term that means something academic so get your brains our of the GUTTER – and since she passed her comps, she basically has her masters  in journalism now and is just doing the work part. how amazing is that?

oh um – this is her man!

Stanley

and today i got to have a long talk with my sister autumn who is my other DUMB smart sister and we talked about chinese industrialization, god, groupthink, green capitalism, porn, ecological footprints, the grist articles i wrote which she’s never read or even heard about! and her fish…and we talked about sarah lawrence’s so far successful push for ethnic studies. go sam, that’s her boyfriend, go sam!

and today autumn loaned me a collection of bjork videos. bjork is my inner artist. the video for hunter? stop! the! madness!

and today i got the dvd of the youth debate pilot tv show we recorded this summer which aired on free speech tv in august. they are looking for funding for the project – holla if you know angel donors into supporting youth debate.

today i WENT TO MY OFFICE. that’s its own whole thing! i listened to talking heads the whole time, even though the real ear stunner this week is luther vandross making it onto my ipod shuffle. :)

AND, TODAY, i decided i want to buy this artwork:

Jgsilvergoldart

its 18 x 24…if the artist, my dear friend joshuagabriel, is willing to take tiny installments over a long period of time, this dream could come true. its just so beautiful!

and today i ate steak with bearnaise sauce and drank pinot noir. it was sooo gooood. and a crepe de la bananes y coco or something, yummy and perfect.

and all i can say is, woah life! WOAH!