my baby sister is the most amazing mama. ever. she blows my mind, she’s 5 years younger than me and 1 billion light years beyond my comprehension in this miracle thing she’s done. i got to spend the weekend with her son, my nephew, and my brother-in-law, and a few close friends who were down to come meet me wherever i was with my nephew and crew. i learned so much, she teaches me so much about motherhood. this time she was telling me about how the modern birthing process – the high numbers of cesareans, and taking the baby away from the mom right away – means that mothers and children aren’t able to bond on the hormonal level the way need to for the mother-instinct to kick in. something like that…it’s all way over my head, but i am encouraging her to write about it. so if you know her, tell her to write about it too.

somewhere along the weekend i lost my nose ring – my gorgeous gold and turquoise nose ring that i bought very special. i woke up and it was gone. the theories abound…it could be inside my nephew. i really hope its not. it could be in the sewers of ny with a bunch of tissue i used to offset my hayfever allergies which showed up severely as soon as i hit jfk. it could be lost in the mysterious book-filled wonderful apartment in crown heights. or…i just have no idea. bye bye nose ring.

i’m jetlagged, my lymph nodes are swollen and my tummy is sensitive, i feel so sick…which of course at this moment feels like swine flu. i don’t think swine flu is funny, i think its a totally horrible thing that so many people have lost their lives to it in mexico, and that it’s spreading so quickly to other places, that the effect will be further harassment and horrors at the border, no good can come of it. in theory, i accept that pandemics are part of the way of humanity. theories are so different from anything i want my loved ones to live through.

so sleepy….