today is/was my nephew’s 1 year birthday. i decided fairly last minute that i had to be here. my family converged from different directions, and we had a party. that was aight. the best part was every minute i got to spend alone with him, chasing each other up and down the hallway and making surprise faces, flirting, doing dances, making sounds, falling and recovering.

when someone tells him no, he kind of gets still and then does the thing again, but slower. it seems that he hears it as like a “no you can’t”, in a literal way, and is like…”oh? – but yes i CAN”. then the mischievous “o” of his mouth betrays any act of innocence.

everything he does i want to remember. how he calls out to other living things – dogs, birds, the half-dead mouse on the sidewalk. how his eyebrows lift up just before he tries to taste or kiss something. how he watches the sky, and all light, with wonder. how he points at the things he notices, not wanting us to miss it. how much he loves playing chase and drumming everything. how he pauses when he falls to see if anyone is around for the show before he starts crying. how nice and welcoming he is to others, how he doesn’t like to perform, how he loves touching the ground, how he looks at his parents, and my parents.

at one year, he can almost say things. he has been walking for three months. he likes to collect things, gift things, and try new things. he is attracted to liquids and danger. he is still fearless, and totally believes he deserves to not only be happy, but be entertained and adored.

he is in constant practice mode – walking, sitting, standing, eating, tasting, listening, talking. i am at my best when i am with him

happy birthday little finn.