my blog seems to be working for some people now and not others. hmmm. the sweet folks at radical designs are on it, so hopefully I will be fully un-bad soon.
for those of you who can read this, I just want to say how much I miss getting to blog. not being able to post has made me realize just how often the instinct to write in this particular way comes to me. I could have written 4 personal memoirs by now, but I love this form, sharing as it happens with you all.
if someone would pay me to do so, I would just write all day long every day. that’s where I am heading someday.
i especially want to write because my heart is massive right now!
I’m learning so much from the transformative process of transitioning my relationship with my partner of five years to best friendship and comradeship. its going so beautifully that we are going to share tools and practices someday on how we are doing this. for now, its still a growth in progress.
people keep saying we don’t seem like we are broken up. I think that’s wonderful, I don’t even like the terminology of breaking up – we are still a whole thing, just radically transformed in how we practice loving each other. I am so grateful for her, for our time, for our future.
also, as I’ve documented here, i have fallen deeply in love with myself for the first time I can remember. it’s amazing to see what becomes easier and what becomes harder from this place.
it’s easier to do yoga, and Jo – to be in my body.
it’s easier to look in the mirror and really indulge in the power of this body of mine.
it’s easier to cry. really weep and wail and seep and shudder and well up and hiccup.
it’s easier to say no, and yes, and mean it.
it’s easier to articulate what I want, and what I need.
it’s easier to accept the miraculous awe-inspiring beauty and blessing of my life.
I mean really, my life is incredible.
it’s harder to be away from Detroit, because the more I love myself the more I can feel what home means. I get homesick!
it’s harder to be away from my nephew and niece and family, my great love teachers.
it’s harder to indulge in those things which have comforted me my whole adult life, filling the space where self-love was absent. I can still sugar binge, but now I know it is out of alignment with my real needs…
everything has me swimming deeper in myself.
and I’m sure there is some cosmic reason why mercury is malwaring my blog at this moment, but this post I’m writing all in a whisper, because I miss you, and I hope you hear me