Tag Archive for 'grievers'

my hands

i just turned in the pleasure activism manuscript. my hands hurt. and the book is exciting.

!!

the moon is full above thick clouds. i feel her. i completed this work in a moon cycle. that feels right. full moon is when you name what you are releasing. i detach from outcome for this work. i’ve given it everything.

and i got two days of fiction writing in this week. now i get to revel in the fictional realm of my novel. well…struggle more than revel. joyful struggle.

with nonfiction i have a sense of how to do it, it’s my voice, my opinions, my stories. but the novel is a weaving together of voices i can hear, ghosts and complex characters who want me to get their stories right. and this first novel is full of ghosts, grief, songs and magic, all in Detroit. i love the story, and i am eager to know where it will take me.

grateful for everyone honoring my boundaries, and reminding me to hold them tight. grateful for the wide range of pleasure activism contributors. grateful to have a life that centers pleasure. grateful to have a life that has gifted me so much to grieve that i must write about it. every day, as i’m here, comes more sorrow, more joy.

all is full of love. wish me luck, and hand love.

procrastination post 38: talk to me

hi.

what you doing?

oh right, hence being here.

me? i am procrastinating. i am on a writing retreat, working on my novel.

well the best part is i am by the ocean, so i just write and swim and do yoga and eat.

yeah, but i’ve hit the day where i just want to sleep all day instead and every time i open my computer i last ten minutes before coming up with some distraction.

i love writing. but novels are hard – this is my first whole thing and it is kind of working, but also kind of like aaaaggggghhhh what IS this? what was i THINKING? so many words but where do they all GO?

thank god for scrivener.

yeah i guess its part of my process when i write fiction. nonfiction is like…here are thoughts from my brain, you like? but fiction is like, 20 people are trying to tell a story from a near future parallel magical realm reached only through my brain, and they all think they are the star.

it’s been a little self helpy/serious over here the last few posts so i wanted to bring some levity. i even wrote a post while i was high that was a list of blog ideas that came to me when i was high.

eh. it was funny while i was high but then i read it again and it was only aight.

it doesn’t help that the novel is all about grief – its hard to stay in the depth of it, to see the magic in it.

fucking social media and news. every time i look away someone dies or we lose something we can’t afford to lose.

good question…well, usually i am in a place with less wifi access.

you mean self-regulate it?

but the world is changing so rapidly – i need to keep up.

i approach it like everything i write is my resistance.

right. you’re right. it will keep changing. after this retreat i will be facilitating lots of people who will get us through all of this. they give me hope.

i should just get back to it and write.

ok. thank you – this was helpful. i mean sorry if it didn’t help you but…writers have to be selfish sometimes.

ok. love you.

til soon.