Tag Archive for 'new moon'

spring equinox

i have been in the woods for five days now. i started this writing retreat with the new moon, and now, tonight, it’s the spring equinox.

and i love the moon. i love that my body moves in cycle with the moon, and how it’s one of the ways i know that nothing lasts forever and everything repeats…that knowing gives me peace.

i have several people in my life who are touching failure. i am with them, eating ice cream even though, even though, even though…oh but i love the lessons that come from failure. they take time, they expose to me where i, where we, still get the gift of learning.

writing a book is such a beautiful and daunting endeavor. they simmer, they touch everything, and they change the writer. to be less vague i am here writing this book on pleasure and it is changing me. i am in the phase where every day i’m like “i can’t do this i know nothing.” and i love the humility that comes from doubt.

i love holding on long after it makes sense. the best people in my life, i have held onto them in spite of logic, socialization and distance. composted, seeded, and something new is possible again.

i love the way i go mermaid dolphin whalerider creature in the water. how do i ever forget that i love this feeling? how can i never forget this again? how can i stay open to this just being good right now without feeling future regret?

i am happiest when i am writing. it’s the truth.

i love having living values – even if it’s small moves, they matter to me. i landed on this island and figured out how to recycle, compost, swim, talk with my nibblings and find local produce.

i love that i can feel pleasure in my bones. and that my pleasure comes directly from feeling connected – to my own body, to my life, to my lover, to my woes, to my nibblings, to this miraculous world.

and now, in spite of everything that hurts and that makes us want to freeze it all…it is spring.

in spite of the snow and rain, it is spring.

in spite of the bombs and assassinations and corruption and disappointment and lies…it is spring.

we grieve. even in spring the predators eat and the greedy reach for our lives.

and yet there is beauty here, and beauty coming. new life is beginning to seek the sun from deep down in the darkness. it is a devastating world loves, but we are miraculous, we are plants and pounding hearts, we are wired for pleasure and we, you and i, we are shapers in the springtime.

tomorrow is the new moon

what we seed in the dark grows
the darkness is so powerful that whiteness tried to turn the world against it
but the darkness remains
the darkness grows everything you love
and when everything dies
it returns to the delicious dark
the wet and waiting earth
who only operates in miracle
nothing is broken inside the darkness
everything is becoming life
longing for life
reaching up from a molten heart
full of belonging
on the edge of flight
so driven
the darkness knows no separation
memory is dream is a thrill in the flesh

i race towards the poem
that i alone can hear
and in answering the call
i remember i am nothing alone, nothing.

surrendering to the truth
frees me, leaves me whole
i overflow with a thundering joy
that only darkness can hold
.

what do you need? what does our species need? write it down, everything, and show it to the dark, whisper it to the dark. fold it and plant it under your bed. in the dark.

michael brown’s homegoing

i have been watching ferguson and feeling many many things. how unique this moment is, and how familiar. how exciting the responses have been, and how exhausted i am by the need to respond. most of all, how to manage all of these front lines, all these black bodies swinging, all this brutality to brown skin.

where i sit in detroit, it is a beautiful, soft, cricket-full summer. and there are masses with no water. the u.n. said it isn’t right, like they said gaza isn’t right. so. there isn’t much relief in the moral high ground.

tonight it is the virgo new moon, and it is a night for prayer, ritual, magic and saying what it is we want. i want the kind of safety that comes when no one is afraid of you, when you are loved unconditionally, when you can make mistakes and live to learn the lessons, when you can rest assured that you will only die of natural causes, when you have every opportunity to live a beautiful and impactful life, when you can be bold and young and vivacious and sassy and creative and brave and tender and old and full of tears, pleasure, laughter, wisdom, new life. and black. i want, i invoke, the safety for black and brown people, for all people, that will come with the healing of the species from the mental illness of racial supremacy/inferiority.

i thought the moon should know.

they called him michael
and he was her only blameless child
and you would have loved him
but he died so quickly,
like a nameless child
(chorus of a song i wrote in high school, for another brown boy who never made it home)

lay him in the dirt
lift him high, raging angels
let him make it home
(for black august on the day of michael brown’s funeral)