healing

had a beautiful dinner tonight with a close friend and i was reminded of healing. that in the midst of my life right now under it all i’m healing. i went through the upheaval a few years ago, this heartbreak of late is only possible because i fell for me a while ago…this friend of mine is in the throes of it. perhaps my heartbreaker is in the throes of it – i can’t know right now…but i am watching my close circle who were all sort of simultaneously in many ways disappointed recently – all of us starting to pick up the pieces. or – perhaps its letting go of the pieces. healing is going into the wound, finding every little piece of the splinter or the bullet or the shrapnel in you and extracting it, looking at it – this beautiful weapon that you thought would take your life but you’re still here. this lovely pain you knew you couldn’t survive but you breathed in and now you can sigh over it but you made it through. and you maybe wash it off, that waste, that leftover…but then you got to throw it off a bridge, into the river, into the dark. remember it, then let it go. and the person who hurt you – you can forgive them…you can let them go. you can realize its all pain, its all fear, its all healing and that’s the way the world is, sometimes you catcht the raw end of someone else’s process. but they are on the other side of the glass, as i told a friend today, that person who hurt you is just there, pressed up against it, watching you love them, watching you writhe with the pain of it. they would do better by you if they could, you know. you have to forgive them for not being capable, and forgive yourself for forgetting to love yourself enough to protect yourself from that half-hearted passion. but once you get there, once you see it, you get that next level sight. you get to see what could be next. its always better. its always gonna learn you good. its love unfolding, you can’t be stagnant and you can’t hide from it, if you choose to live, you gotta actually do it and do it the best you fuckin can. and then better. i’m off for the weekend. love yourselves darlings…

Author: Adrienne

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Your uprising against the forces of darkness has got to do more than say "no." A fierce, primal yes should be at the heart of your crusade. (rob brezny, long ago)

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