why my sub-conscious totally sucks azz

yo my sub-conscious is killin me right now!!!

why did i just wake up from this dream: i was having some perfect day where i was in a fabulous hotel for some special occasion, and i had lined up dates with three old lovers in one day (even in dreams yo soy freaky), and then the heartbreaker showed up, and then we were shopping for baby onesies with my mother!! what the balls is that? i woke up wanting to promptly eat something gross for the express purpose of vomiting it in my face.

this made me realize that i am not smoking, it’s my sub-conscious! operation Quell My Sub-conscious’s Crazy Self is ON!

in real life, the heartbreaker’s romantic crusade lasted roughly two weeks ending with a very classic miscommunication of the type we Always have in which i say something reasonable and he gets angry. shane says to think of it as an issue of perspectives, not right or wrong. but my perspective is, the disgust i have at the idea of having a baby in my life extends to relationships. get to steppin! or at the very least, don’t expect me to keep trying.

today we have a Very Funny Boondocks to share (by we I mean me and Aaron MacGruder, who doesn’t even know about this partnership but he would adore me, i just know it):


wow – that came out small. hmmm…well click on it to see it, it’s worth it…

in other news – i got this email from my dear friend kate cortesi, from soviet georgia:

Whatup Adrienne! I was just reading your blog, which makes me so
homesick I can’t even tell you, and you had this funny typo which I
think we should all use on purpose:

someone who will rename nameless

I don’t know why I like that so much. I guess because withholding someone’s name is like renaming them?

Does withholding really have two h’s in a row?

Alright, I gotta get back to writing, but just wanted to say: miss you!


ah typos. i had another one a while ago, where i meant to say something like mojo begets mojo, but i said mojo begets moho, which was just too funny to fix. never look back.

had a series of excellent talks yesterday:

1. with my mentor who is a leader from the young lord days on movement, sexism, contradiction (recommended reading: on contradiction, by chairman mao), having a vision and values and having a line you can draw, a place where you stand. really enlightening.

i left my wallet at the spot where we ate and by the time i got back to it someone had jacked me for my monthly metrocard! sigh. i will not let this put a damper on me, but rather see it as an opportunity to learn about the metrocard warranty system where if you purchase it with a credit or debit card you can get a pro-rated credit to your account. chale yes.

2. with my homey dani mcclain about how growth is shaping our radicalism in a great way.

3. with a dear friend who has been through a hellacious 5 months and is coming through it all with so much grace and bravado that i wish standing ovations were common in the real world.

4. with a dear friend who is realizing she is seriously depressed and needs help. we gonna get help honey, i know you got all it takes to get through this.

5. with someone we were interviewing who i really wished i could kick it with over tea.

and THEN, joshuagabriel came over to bring me my artwork and make some music. we did an original song i’ve been working on, he tuned my guitar, and then we did a duet cover of that dylan song, ‘i threw it all away’. So Fun and So Good. there are people you’re just born to make music with.

here’s a picture of my mom’s two new students:


they wear school uniforms and roll up the skirts, which reminds me: I did this all through high school, among
other things, to make myself look like a little ho-bag (a.k.a. ‘cute’). Ah, to
think there was a time when I wanted to show as much leg as possible!

my family is in a period of firsts. I shifting
roles in the league to work that much better suits me, my mom started teaching English
to two these two students in Japan, april started her communications practicum,
and autumn started her job at the


disaster relief interfaith services. my dad is still obsessed with golf, but he had his first hole-in-one the other day!! Go family!

ok, now its time to go walk off this bad encounter with my sub-conscious. have a day of sparkling wit!

Author: Adrienne

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Your uprising against the forces of darkness has got to do more than say "no." A fierce, primal yes should be at the heart of your crusade. (rob brezny, long ago)

One thought on “why my sub-conscious totally sucks azz”

  1. Hi Beautiful Spirit,

    Know you’re busy today, but you DO owe me a call, just cuz I need to hear your voice.

    Speaking of dreams, I had a very powerful one the other night. Some man I have never met told me about how his wife and five children had all been killed in some kind of accident. In my dream, I was so overcome by a physical, sickening grief that I fell to my knees weeping in front of him. It was as if I was living his experience of the moment of that tragedy.

    In my mind (in my dream) i simultaneously wondered at how unusual it was to be experiencing his grief – this man I did not know – so personally and profoundly… and also knew, in that moment that he and I were inherently connected… that really there was little that separated us in the universe.

    I woke up thinking about the human suffering of the past year. The tsunami, Katrina, wars and famines and on and on. And of the ways we connect or don’t connect with that suffering in a balance of empathy and self-preservation.

    But rather than sadness, I was filled with a hopefulness springing from my understanding of the interconnectedness of all of us, and of all things. And that my mind, through this dream, just needed to remind me of that.

    And so, speaking of connectectedness… digits, baybee, digits. As in mine. Hope your day is wonderfilled.

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