these grown up days

do you ever go through little periods where you realize that there is very little that is actually theoretical or far away from you? like the things that, when i was growing up, seemed to happen to only the very famous, very scandalous types, or on television to make things dramatic. but then they all come into real life…death and babies, love triangles, love ending, love beginning, intrigue, conspiracy, heartbreak, affairs, impotence, brilliance, forgiveness, becoming more revolutionary, finding intimacy and romance, trauma, healing. it requires all sorts of maturity and honesty and being a grown up, trying to stay clear and standing and even joyful through all of that. i’ve had to be such an adult lately. 

have you deeply listened to the song ‘love me still’ by chaka khan? i think, for moments when you realize that love over a long period of time is really the deepest friendship where you hurt each other with your hurts, and love each other with your hope, and free each other from your burdens, and carry each other through hard times, that this is the perfect song to play. some of you faithful readers may ask: does this mean the heartbreaker has come back? not so simple beloveds…it means that a new chapter is upon us, one with less illusions and demands and self-absorbtion and more listening, learning, and depth. so its not even the same person come back, its the next evolution of communication.

in other news, just got back from a successful outreach trip, met with some folks doing great community work, and saw my sister april before her road trip to south carolina, who i may nickname the oracle, cause she be breakin off the super guidance. she’s one of the few people who won’t let me wiggle away from direct analysis. i like to analyze myself an a way that makes everything ok, but sometimes you need someone to be like wait hold up hold up…some things just aren’t ok.

in my world of not ok, i am not sleeping a lot. for better or worse, my brain is fully on right now. its really hard to just lay down and sleep! i have so much to think about. my little meditation is a struggle. i haven’t quit smoking yet. but april was like, join a gym, fake it till you make it, just invest in yourself!

then got to grab lunch with bouapha toommaly, one of the co-authors of how to get stupid white men out of office, for some catch-ups on how hard the non-profit world is. she’s a warrior.

and then stopped off in baltimore for a quick and dirty hour of talking world, politics and life with dr. lester spence, one of my favorite brilliant people to talk to. i mean its that good when you go out of your way and meet in a train station just to get that level of conversation. then i slept on the train home like a bear in a cave, grabbed my favorite gyro and now, serious catch up on sleep time!!

tomorrow is the ny grassroots media conference, i’ll be presenting on creating community voter guides. if you’re in ny, come by – its at New School University Graduate Faculty (GF), 65 5th Avenue, between 13th and 14th Streets.  Union Square is the nearest subway. Come through if the blizzard doesn’t get you.

i’m enjoying all the emails and posted responses to my little quiz! 🙂 keep them coming. big kisses!