trying to have new thoughts

is it possible that capitalism is the reptilian equivalent of socio-economic development? perhaps setting up a polar dynamic between capitalism and socialism is actually pointless, that like an amoeba becoming a reptile becoming a whatever comes next on the evolutionary path to lions and tigers and bears. and monkeys and/or apes and then us. at some point everything that is a part of our being today was formative and theoretical, and i am thinking that rather than tryin to imagine our vision in an absence of the current moment, we could start envisioning it truly as an evolution from this moment. then what fusions and creations are possible. walking was a revolutionary concept once. as was fire. if you consider for a moment that monetary wealth is as much an illusion we all buy into as race, what other illusions are possible? and can you carry that possibility into a fight against the inequality of access to resources, and the fight against racism?

my real goal for today’s post was to address phrases people use that i actually have no knowledge of. i present:

1. bleeding like a stuck pig. i’ve said this before, but do pigs carry a lot of blood? what is it when they are stuck – like do you stick them? or do they get stuck somewhere and then bleed in panic? what?

2. sweating like a whore in church. what sinner doesn’t sweat in church? pre or post confession?

3. cold as a witch’s tit. is this an emotional cold? are witches cold blooded? all i can think of is janet’s tit, with chris rock’s voice yelling, "40 year old titty, your man’s titty. 20 year old titty, community titty!

side note: i do a pretty great impression of chris rock because my sophomore year was spent in bed with my roommate adriana reading aloud from chris rock’s book. she found it quite amusing and i’ve always had a weakness for bedtime stories. in character. i remember one my father used to tell us abotu spiders, where he saved us.

do you have other phrases like this? maybe we can get to the root of all this?

i am sick. sick like a kid was around me who was sick and everyone else around him got sick and now i am sick. trying not to resent his youthful approach to being sick, versus my full body misery.

i just spent a night of absolute delight and honesty with shane jones. shane is one of those men who is too stunning, so you just have to get over that to be his friend, and on top of that he is brilliant at analyzing things and just generally two steps ahead of the game. our time is distinctly tender and treasurable. and then, in like september, came jen. jen has an immense life force, and fills up a room, and between the two of them i could delay acknowledging the sniffling sore feeling of sickness coming, cause i wanted and needed to indulge in the themness.

now i am drinking hot tea with echinacea and honey and lemon and stuff in there and starting to pity myself. i hate hate hate being sick!!!

🙂 come soup me up someone. sigh…