treatise on tender

have i ever written to you about my preference for tender? tender, to me, is a better thing than lust, love, wonder…its that divine combination of friendship and devotion, knowledge and pain and overcoming your smaller self for the sake of just one other person. tonight i saw someone, and we sat together, and we stood around, and we didn’t look at each other at the same time, and i was so happy to be there, and i felt like – just tender.

this training i am in is intense, and i have turned the corner with it, i sort of love all the people here now, or at least a significant contingent. but the hard long hours and lack of sleep and breaks makes me all that much more vulnerable. i need the outlet, the other sort of attention that is completely unprofessional and imperfect. so there you go – i had a tender evening and i tucked it immediately into my whole larger history of tender experiences, those more addictive than jamesons… 🙂

in the meantime…