tempations abound

all these little memories of recent encounters keep coming up that i absolutely want to share with you but alas, alack – i am pretty sure my mother is reading this! momma can you hear me? momma can you see me? but really, you don’t need to know. you can live without it, y’all haven’t been inactive i’m sure!

i had drinks last night with a lovely woman who told me a story of how she sat up one night from a deep sleep completely in love. woke up in love. we were sitting at a darling spot called cafe van kleef, which i fell in love with and am going to try to get a singing gig at occasionally, that’s the final piece of the full california life i aim to have. its nice to sit around with talking poets and relanguage the crossing of lines, the falling in and out of states of obsession and need. i also enjoy the way it comes over you, an emotional shift. are you in love or just open to it. what do you need to happen next?

also spent serious good time with a dear friend this weekend talking deeply about anxiety and doubt and knowing yourself well enough to not need as much from others as they fear you do. so interesting. i am fully in the zone of having outlined my arena of desires, needs, issues, etc – and if its not in that box, i can’t really be bothered by it. makes for much more interesting and clear conversations.

speaking of, i promised i would relay some of the conversations my main night time bus driver has had with front seat passengers. one in particular stands out so sharply. i can’t really comment on it in any way, it was just an insane, painful, funny, crazy thing to overhear.:

driver: i saw m— the other night
passenger: for real?
d: sho did. she ain’t ‘changed cept for the skinny
p: yeah, no meat on them bones, dunno how she gets work anymo’
d: well, when she gets it, i give ’em the look
p: i bet you do
d: how you gonna follow a whore on a bus for business?
p: (laughter)
d: (laughter) damn shame
p: (laughter)
d: sometimes i tell em tho
p: no sir
d: yes sir! a man’s got a right!
p: well they made they choice
d: naw, they ain’t make THAT choice
p: does it hurt her business?
d: oh she gets mad, you know – ‘how you gonna tell on me!’
p: how do you do it
d: i just say, m— you gettin another one sick?
p: holy shit!
d: (hard laughter) yeah, the dude gives pause for sure at that
p: (laughing too hard to talk)
d: and some of them ask, sick what?
p (yelling): de aids mu-fucka de aids!
d: (laughing) no i don’ even say!
p: no need, hum
d: at that point, you dumb enough to keep goin, you get what you get!
p: for real tho!
d: (laughing) m—‘s a sexy little one tho. really a damn shame. and sweet as all hell, a good girl, one of the best.
p: she sho is sexy. shit – i almost went with her one time!
d: no you didn’t! not on this bus!
p: true. you take care of me – always get home.
d: you take care of you! it’s yo stop! (laughin) see you t’morrow.
p: yeah if you see m—
d: yup, i’ll blow up the spot again!
both laugh as they part ways.

do y’all pay attention to this net neutrality stuff? it’s coming sooner that you think.

and that’s it for today 🙂