nearing the end

so much things to say…

this past weekend i went to the social venture network‘s ‘gathering of women entrepreneurs’ and got flipped over excited about what is possible for ruckus. i’ve been moving in this direction – how do we secure the longer term support we need for the work we do. it’s really hard to even consider being financially stable when i have spent so much of my time crafting my post-capitalist analysis. but maybe i’ve mentioned it on here, that i am less inclined towards either/or analyses…where one super system has to end for another to come to pass. i actually haven’t seen that function occur, not in cuba, not in france, not in south africa – some version of what exists is all that can move forward. the work we do requires travel, gear, supplies, food, healthcare…i have to plan for that.

i met all these women who have started and run socially responsible businesses. really inspirational, grounded powerful women. i learned a ton, and i sang for them, and got invited to come in an official capacity as a singer to the next gathering! so there, my dream to sing ‘for real’ in cali is coming to pass. plus, the singular joshuagabriel is now in the bay and wants to make music with me. its time for a cd, to admit i just love singing more than roughly anything and it’s when i feel closest to non-existence, in a wonderful way.

i drove to and from the conference – asilomar – just finding more and more aspects of california to love. and me being me, at the conference of women, i of course met a gorgeous man, our masseuse, who felt like a friend i’d known for a long time. i think that is perhaps more common in cali. the other night i met this woman on the train who liked my hair and turned out to be an intern for SOUL, a training program i have a lot of respect for.

on the way home with the rented car i decided to really get my move on, so i went to bedbathandbeyond which is really kind of phenomenal, replaced my electric toothbrush and finally feel orally clean again! got an actual pillow (i’ve been surviving on a decorative pillow in a regular pillowcase), and this laundry bag that’s like a bookbag cause it appears i might have to actually start doing my own laundry again after years of dropping it off. also got tons of trader joe’s supplies and can now eat food in my own house!

and now, advice in a vacuum:

Blocks and working around them, that’s what life’s about. Its hard to
advise on next steps but I have a practice which has worked for me –
free writing or having someone repeat a question to me. The question to
write about or answer is: why am I here? What you do in life should
always answer that question. Don’t waste your time, even if you can only
get a partial answer. Work from there. Its not a public endeavor – only
you really need to know, each person has those private answers to live
up to.

wednesday i head to ny SISTER TIME!! – the weekend after that i think l.a., and then? JAPAN!!