poetic missive

the pavement is buckling
its opening up in massive holes, which swallow sun
darkness exposed
the only way home is on these roads

i thought i’d swim today
or float, along the far side of my moat
i waded til the weeds filled me with terror

i can’t remember what is false
i can’t remember what is real
i can’t remember what i feel
but i feel

something rests between my bones
something heaves, shudders, moans
something tender to the touch
drives me into myself too much

ashamed to give myself too quick
i dodge the words
the ones that stick are brittle as they’re offered up
am i still here by strength or luck

all my machines break down on me
the jewels fall off
the bondage snaps
i want to journey somewhere new
im tired of laps, brief naps, nightcaps

every step turns me around
each dance brings only injury
i can only look at clouds
and catch my breath
don’t look for me