you are so special

today i have been thinking about how the majority of communication i get about the us social forum is folks wanting some special treatment. it’s easy to get really frustrated with all the special requests – folks want a special place on the plenary, a special late entry for workshops, a special registration fee, special sheets for their beds, a special place to stay.

we in the organizing process have had many wonderful venting sessions about all these special people throughout this process, even as we work hard to meet the needs, fulfill the requests, make everyone happy, be politically aligned with our values and all of it.

but this has made me think primarily about my own ways of being special. it’s not unusual for me to say i am too busy to go through the normal process, that i missed the proper deadline/process/application and could i please have it just for me? i like my own room, my own space, my own…

and yet i believe the path towards liberation is paved with collective ownership, shared belongings and release of the bougie and selfish tendencies that flesh out the concept of “my own”, “mine”, “me”…

sitting on this side of a huge event makes me wonder if i am actually experiencing the epicenter of why capitalism is so abhorrent and detrimental to humanity. the expression of “i” and “mine” leads to an expectation of something unique and special and singular.

and who provides those special things?

servants, assistants, workers – whoever you feel is just a little less special than you are.

my self-reflection shows me that in my own way, i am a total diva, generally. virgo first born talented and gifted singer…i’ve been trained to think i am very special. but it’s not true – i am one of many. what i am capable of is a fragment of what is needed in this world. we are all needed…

so i am going to try a new practice: being only as special as any other human being. taking care of myself and not asking anyone else to do for me what i can do for myself. being honest about my limitations and my needs, but working hard to reduce the impact of those needs on others. working with others, delegating horizontally and allowing work to be delegated to me, being part of a collective process, of the many.

there’s us, there have been millions before us, hopefully there will be millions after us. in the best way possible, you are not special. neither am i.