birthday reflections

nothing is permanent
real love never ends

“there are black people in the future”
and i am conjuring those futures, daily, in community

for a long time people laughed at my visions
that’s OK, my visions include laughter

i wouldn’t wish my trauma on anyone
healing from trauma, feeling peace and even joy in my life, is the greatest achievement of my life

i have accomplished most of my dreams
i am tired…time to dream again

i am not between people when i’m alone
i’m not property when i am loved

i love quiet, private, internal moments.
i then love to share them with thousands of people and find the pattern of flagrant introverts and shy extroverts who are my people

i am terrified of what the future holds
looking in babies’ eyes makes me feel at peace with the future

life is not happening to me…it is the cumulative result of my choices
still, some things are out of my control

you can’t save people
you can point towards safety, grab their hands, and run with them through the landmines

kissing is the best
orgasms are the best
love is the best

my life is full of purpose, love, and nibblings who send me birthday wishes that keep me crying with gratitude all day

thank you ancestors for insisting that i listen to a force older and truer than any thing i could think up

thank you to everyone who interacts with me as a human, who sees that i am not a product, pawn, carpet, or magic bullet.

thank you to each person who loves me as i am right now today.

thank you to the babies who look in my eyes and affirm my existence.

thank you to the people who resonate with my ahas, you make me feel less alone in my awe and longing.

thank you to the unwritten books patiently awaiting my attention – i am coming.

thank you to the great mystery who says there is even more coming to me, more blessing, more loving. i accept. i will rest up and wait.