there has been so much growth, life, death, loss, excitement, change, and work in my life lately. at the same time i have been working to establish a practice, or set of daily practices, to ground and center me, focus me on my best offerings to the world, let me clear and clarify. i have wrestled with practice, as i have wrestled with all disciplines in my life. give me space, creation space, rules to break, lines to cross, newness and naughtiness and truth – i’m yours. but practice? something every day? the same thing every day? yawn…life is long!
and yet…when i practice the difference is palpable. on a day where i meditate, do 10 reps of jo kata, center myself, think about what i love and want to manifest: MY LIFE IS AMAZING. literally i eat well, cook skillfully, listen deeply, am full of action and accomplishment, am humble and loved and open.
and on days where i don’t have time – don’t make/take time – for myself? i trip, i stumble, i fall, i eat fast foods, i sneak bad things like ice cream and cigarettes, the pool is suddenly closed, i get tickets from the city of oakland, i become a vexed person, cynical, venting, a hater…i forget important things, my to-do list seems unbearable, other people are mean and potentially in a conspiracy of stupid behavior designed to stump my instincts for good…swirling down a drain of ick.
what i am realizing is that it is not WHAT i practice, but THAT i practice. it’s the daily choice…actually millions of small daily choices, that make the life i want to lead. even if i consider practicing, and choose not to, aware of the implications – it is better than making no choice, being asleep in boredom or misery.
and when i make a good choice – to make space for the stillness, to move towards my intentions, to center myself all the way down to the earth before responding to anything – it’s power. i have nothing but love and redemption in me, i’m human in the most miraculous way.