first round of goodbyes

last night was my first going away party, little intimate thing with the ladies (thank you to kat for the hosting and the cooking and da muzak) – i just realized we’ve all known each other since college. 10 years now. these little odd ways to flip and observe time can make it seem so long. i’ve only been on my own a third of my life, and yet already feel so independent. no looking back except to smile.

mia herndon brought her baby, the little miracle name asani. she patiently let us ask every sort of question about her nearly 50 hours of labor and as we had some journalists in the midst it got pretty deep. but then there is this very serious and alert and focused communicating tiny girl. miraculous.

i texted myself this the other night from my new sidekick (which i just downloaded sudoku onto!!):

"I love like anyone else does. Madly. Anything else cld be rt in frnt of
me and I couldn’t see it if My Love is near.
I had a mmnt recently where I thought of love I had received w/o meaning
to, w/o prpr shame and humility…with no knowledge how to.
wht if i mssd the lv of my life? Now I see all this love evrwhr, and i see it, I feel it. I have a frnd,
our main activity is fndng amzng exprncs and shrng thm w each othr. Bt I
nvr ntcd ths love ths wy b4, nw I am so grateful."

if you can decipher, enjoy!

i have started the packing process and here’s how it goes:

first lets take down all the decoration, to help with emotionally disconnecting from the place. then…lets go through all my clothes and get rid of stuff we don’t want to wear. now bedding. i have an unreasonable amount of multicolored jersey sheets. maybe i should take a nap.


ok now…let’s put shells into ziplock baggies. throw away some buttons. lets take the blankets off the windows and reflect upon this rather mild winter. now my jewelry.

now. that’s all i really care about. i can’t really consider getting rid of any books. or dvds. or vhs tapes. or cassette tapes of me singing when i was 14. or oh my god is that my paula abdul cassette? i can’t seem to get rid of pretty things 🙂

a couple of thoughts i noticed today…

– i love people en masse, but very few specifically. this seems healthy to me.
– can black people handle it if this political moment is not about us?
– i love my own company…

am off to see my sis become a catholic now!