in the end, there was a beginning

“its the last hours of 2009. clean, cook, clear, sage, release, relinquish, meditate on all you will manifest in the next decade. then, celebrate. you are good.”

this is my main message for the day, and my plan.

the cycle continues, and the comfort that we gain from marking and organizing time is deep. it is the end of a decade, we named the beginning and end of it. we thought the world would end at the beginning of the decade we are ending now. many think this next decade will only last two years before it all ends again. time teaches us what we do not know and cannot comprehend. we celebrate it for our own egos – look at our lifespans, look at what we accomplished in this period of time, look at how far we came – we we here! but also to somehow connect ourselves to all existence – we study and examine and excavate, trying to place all of existence in time. to think of the turn of the century before and what plants and animals existed, how people communicated, what people believed the future would bring – that is all the foundation of our current existence. which means our lives, the species of this moment, our methods of communication and our beliefs are the foundation of any possible future.

there are many ways to manifest a future – envision it, write it down, tell everyone about it, mobilize masses towards it. i am most interested in embodiment. what can i be, now in this moment, that will manifest a future that is just, interesting, passionate, present, healthy, and in good relation with all that exists? how can i be that, not self-righteously but with humility – i am part of the whole, the whole is more important than the parts, my breath is worth the effort because i contribute to the whole, by being as whole a part as i can.

if that sounds abstract, i mean it to say – the longer i live, the more infinitesimal i realize myself to be. if all of humanity is a body, i am not the brain, or a whole hand. i am so much smaller than that. i may not even be a cell, but some part of the wall of a cell. i have to be whole for the cell to play its part, and the cells have to play their part for the hand or heart or brain to function.

i want to be everything that it is possible for me to be, and that possibility unfolds further and further as i relinquish any sense that i can truly know anything. it is all experiment, i am in it and of it, we are the living breathing “perhaps”. and in the next decade i hope to be as surprised and awed and filled with wonder by the unexpected and unimaginable as i was in the past decade.

towards curiousity then.

happy new year 🙂