the darker side

there are some experiences that are so nightmarish and horrible that no one should have to experience them. someone i love is in the midst of such an experience right now, and i feel the powerless and the pain. its a crystal clear type of wrong. there are massive tragedies, and then there are intimate personal impossible heartbreaking singular tragedies and i simply struggle to stay civil as i listen to the trite dramas people can create in their lives and in any process…there is enough real struggle, real pain, real grief and real work out there.

i feel so sad and so angry.

what occurs to me as i go through these days with so much painful stuff happening in my family is that – this is the common human experience. tragedy and crisis is happening to folks all the time, just as healing and love is. to be present with people is to realize that they might in pain, part of their heart might be with a loved one. we all have to do a better job of holding each other gently.

what has gotten me through the past few days has been that there are so many incredible people, working hard, bringing solutions, offering to pick up work, being gentle, acting with respect and love. those folks greatly outnumber those who can’t seem to think outside their own concerns or problems, and give me something good to focus on.

i usually keep a list of questions for the goddess, this week all i could was cry and light a candle – there are no answers right now.

i am focusing my love, and focusing it again, sending it the only way i know how.