being different

for the past few years, every june, tons of my favorite people come to detroit. they come beaming love and brilliance in rainbow neon sundresses, low slung shorts, tattoos, amazing new haircuts, in caravans, on buses, on bikes. un-uniform, completely fresh, waves of light fantastic.

for the past three years, my sister has been amongst the beautiful people.

we cloud together for the allied media conference (AMC), a gathering of futurists and imaginators and transformers, co-evolving our community work as we learn new ways to share our stories.

each year, i have been running all over the place, sweeping past the people i loved as i dashed to emcee this and facilitate that and generally be a little too fabulous to connect with.

it was fun.

today i feel like a different person coming into the space – into any space.

for one thing, i only have a few things scheduled, and they are things i deeply love, focused on octavia or on sabbaticals and healing. i am deeply rested and not really interested in running anywhere. in fact i have been sick the past four days after jumping back in a little too fast and rough.

and a lot has changed that doesn’t fit easily into a “how are you?” response. in fact – i can’t think of even one aspect of my life that is unchanged. where could i begin? and yet, i’m realizing that the same is almost always true, for everyone. we try and snapshot our lives at each other at these gatherings where we have full fascinating programs and around the edges fit in the building relationship part that strengthens our movements.

the AMC does a better job than most at cultivating intentional time throughout, but it’s still 1500-2000 people to love all at once. and hot cuss but they are loveable.

i mostly wish i could just float through the gathering and see everyone, see how lovely and vibrant and wicked and intelligent they all are, without having to say a word. i may do that, just smile a lot and let people hug me, see my tan and tattoos. i believe i am at the end of a realm of conferencing as the main way i see and fall in love with these people – i want deeper connections from everyone, in their backyards or at my kitchen table, one at a time.

so. for the next few days, i’ll be making notes in my head about who i want to dive into deeper, later. and as people come at me with all their love and updates and excitement, i am just going to breathe a lot, stay focused on what my body is telling me i need to do as i heal and keep landing home, and be present.

it’s all love.