i was taught at a young age to go in on birthdays.
my parents created our own little birthday rituals which were all about anticipation and thoughtfulness and getting to feel the impact of people loving you. my army dad was often in the field during my birthday, and we would celebrate when he came back, so i came to expect multiple birthdays each year and i have not given that up.
yesterday i baked the pink cake with chocolate frosting from a box that i have had every birthday as long as i can remember, and have since been eating birthday cake with a steady stream of loved ones here in detroit. i love the love notes, cards, text messages, ims – i even love that i get to exist during the age of facebook-ified birthdays. this year i’m celebrating for about a month, in-person in 4-5 cities, with lots of one-on-one reflections and conversations.
whereas last year all i longed for was solitude, this year what i hunger for is more quality time with all the people i love.
and i am aware that i just finished a monumental year where i was gifted a community supported sabbatical, traveled around the world, transitioned my relationship and reclaimed my love of my self and my body. i wrote a lot this year, and so as a birthday present to myself, and a love/gratitude offering to everyone who supported me throughout the year, i spent the last night of 33 and first few hours of 34 creating a birthday zine.
it includes blog entries, notes written throughout the year, poems, and some pictures.