winter thoughts

That feeling when I finally have the right tool to properly scrape off the car, and my serious winter gloves, and Russian hat, and weatherproof boots, and it starts to snow. Bring it.

Today I saw the snow coming, a sky full of swollen greyish gold cloud that was almost too thick to drive through. I checked my phone in the clear cold, and when I looked up the snow was moving in every direction around me.

When I hibernate I produce less dirty laundry.

I’d like to schedule a sci fi event here, but it’s too cold.

*looks up tickets to warm places*

No. Stay put, hibernate.

*looking at shopping list*

Do I really need any of this stuff enough to leave the house?

*looks up delivery options for toilet paper*

Ooh! Just this once. One season.

*sitting in car looking at gas tank needle*

I wish there were indoor gas stations. Or like heat lamps that could safely be attached to gas thingies. It’s not at empty yet anyway.

I wonder if space heater plus humidifier equals Bali?

Oh tea! I totally forgot how awesome tea is. I wonder if I can order tea online.

I should write a rhyme to the tune of ‘it was a good day‘ but with the words today was a cold day.

Just waking up trying hard not to curse God
I’m not sure but bed frost feels kinda odd
Too chilly for stray dogs, ice fog
I miss my momma’s winter cooking, pure hog

And so on.

Winter hibernation is a beautiful thing! Yoga, somatics, meditation, tarot, burning sage and incense and frankincense, clearing inbox, cooking, catching up on laundry, writing. I’m like a bear if bears were hella active all winter.

If I don’t shave and get a haircut soon I could be mistaken for a bear. And all my hair looks beautiful to me, because it looks like warmth.

After maybe a decade of longing for a bathtub, I finally have a working tub. Now I sit in the hot water wondering: are baths environmentally hateful? I promise myself to take as few as I can and relish every moment.

In winter it’s possible to spend a whole day feeling feelings.

I chose to leave California. I missed seasons, I missed this way that water piles up on the earth after everything has stripped and slowly melts into her like an unrushed lover, how going through this extreme cold makes spring so delectable. I chose to live here and stay here. This is my empowered choice.

Do I know how to make warm choices?

People keep dying when I am in the midst of making plans to spend more time with them. All this longing is sharper in the winter.

Go for a walk. Just go outside.


*after visiting Grace* I love putting a smile on Grace’s face. She’s the only person I sing for shamelessly. Well, her and children.

If I angle the space heater directly at my face is that unhealthy?

I wonder if I can get every meeting to happen by phone or at my house. Is that wrong?

If the gig is in a warm place I’m giving them a discount.

I am meant to fly south. Where are my wings?