even though i once promised myself i wouldn’t be the kind of writer who wrote about experiences i had on social media, i am about to reflect on a positive facebook experience. because what you pay attention to grows.

you may think i am about to reflect on how rebecca solnit is diligently veering president-elect grump’s clown car, vaguely heading towards the white house, off the road. yes, i am feeling embers of hope, and doing all the actions she and taj james post about.

but i am writing about something else, my other form of resistance: putting my attention where i want it.

which, it turns out, is on other peoples’ toilet roll practices. over, under, available, in arm’s reach, recycled, etc.

and the vocal prowess of mary j blige, alicia keys, michael jackson and others who make/made a living singing.

and monogamy vs polygamy vs relationship anarchy.

and if respectful difference of opinion about the magical unicorn beam of perfection king beyoncé is possible, or political.

and how gross (or exquisite) avocados, fruit, cats, kale, human-pet french kissing, rimming, body odor, gas and so many other life choices are.

so satisfying.

this is the prompt that was posted by lauren bacon, who got it from a friend:

“What is a non-political opinion you have that is likely to be VERY unpopular?”

people reposted it. i have been reading the thread of responses on mine and several other people’s. today i asked again with a focus on sex, love, and relationships. there are thousands of responses, many of which made me actually laugh with my body and mouth to the point of tears. i didn’t know i needed it til i was in the comment thread enjoying it.

here’s what i came away with (things i distinctly do NOT usually feel on social media):

people are awesome and funny and can learn together in a public space across all kinds of identities.

having different opinions can be really activating and fun.

vulnerability is so much more interesting than anything else.

there is an elegant place for, and art to, pettiness and shade…too often, simply being mean or negative is rewarded as #petty or #shady. when its done well it delights everyone (eh, most?) involved.

we judge each other! but often not from a technical place of right or wrong, though we use that language. we judge each other because reality is a myth we have weaponized. what we actually live in is a multitude of perceptions that really can’t see outside themselves. ourselves, our small self that needs others, our small movements that need to grow.

only listening can open the door to the world beyond ourselves.

we long for less groupthink and more honesty!

i share this because i want this type of social media experience to proliferate: to celebrate difference and distinction, to realize there is enough room for the multitudes.

and…for the record?

p.s. this just in: works for dinner conversations too ??