i left the wreath up deep into the spring

needing the birds to come

as they had before

 

without a sound i lied –

your babies will be safe here

 

the first nest was a spun round door

speckled eggs quick laid

 

i anticipated open mouths

reaching for the bite which says

you might live long enough to love

 

but when mama went missing

those spirit babies flew to other nests

other eggs, mothers who answered

…a mother is meant to hold yes

as in yes, i can steward this soul, yes

 

the second nest was precarious

a mess more than a safe space

the unexpected mama flew in wild circles

around each daily stranger, screaming

you have become my danger

 

new eggs came quickly

bright as i was foolish, urgently attached

but really the universe had made the way

 

so i lied again

the whole world awaits you

 

but today the nest lay dead on the ground

one flung egg cracked open

the rest buried under a wooden wound

 

and i was finally honest

every breath of my rage is grief 

 

why all this miracle we cannot keep

why are shell and skull so fragile

why give us another spring

(why can’t i throw the nest away)

if we aren’t meant to protect the world 

why was my heart crafted to stay

if anyone can ruin everything

how do i hold a palm of true magic

where can this heartache steep

 

something was stolen; who is the thief?