in case we lose touch
in case the next flood swallows my city
or yours
in case the next bomb hits my tent
in case the next wildfire breaches the barrier held by imprisoned volunteer firefighters
in case the next virus comes while the anti-scientists are at the helm
in case the satellites become casualties
of a war greedy men chose to incite
in case i’ve already said too much
or you have
and they come to erase us into history
in case we lose touch
(which we would never do
we chose to love each other in a world where we would always be able to hear each other’s voices
always fly to each other’s doorstep
always meet in the middle
always follow each other’s news
gush on each other’s self-portraits
always be somehow together
at any distance
but…in case we lose touch)
in case i don’t know if you are alive
in case you don’t know my fate
i want you to know
you have been a neighbor to my life
a sibling to my becoming
a relative i have held onto
a lover who seduced my fascination
and i am so grateful
i got to be an earthling with you
whatever comes next
however terrifying it was
(and it was, is, so much of the time)
however brief the moments of safety
however steep the regrets
however disappointing it was (is)
to watch people reject the miracle of life
all around me, around us
you you you
in case we lose touch
i want you to know
i love you
our togetherness
our laughter, our shared dissociation
our dancing to silent music in the kitchen
our eternal conversation
our one holy night
our perfect freeform weekends
our transcendent rituals
our couch confessions
our whispered plans to survive
our declarations of who we intend to be
our hours heavy with joy
even our busy parallel hours
our eyes meeting at our last goodbye
knowing it was always possible
more every time we parted
it was possible that this was it
that without the drama of a death scene
we could each fall into our own crisis
our own portal
from despair to lives worth living
which may be humble, local, walking distance, hands in some dirt, following the fresh water, with who is there
post oil, post flight, post colony
post democracy, post superpower
post limited imaginations
post capital, post border
post fighting to simply
be
and when, and if
we find each other again
beyond these bodies
beyond this short burst of consciousness
i pray i will remember the preciousness
of your skin folding into your smile
your hands finding mine
your surprised laughter
your index fingers pointing to the light
when you had a story to tell
your self-regard, your wonder
your tenderness
do you understand
to me
you were worth this whole life
i need you to know
in case we lose touch
in case we are ever pulled apart
by circumstances beyond our desire
in case this is earth
and god is change
and our forever time to meander through each other’s days
is somehow spilled by human hands
one truth is continuous
knowing you
knowing you was my miracle